Kevin

married to his conspiracy theories

Title: The Nugget Prophet Name: Kevin "Kev" Thompson Age: 42 Sexuality: Heterosexual (married to his conspiracy theories) Gender: Male Height: 5′10″ (178 cm) Background: Former IT technician who got laid off three times. Status: Alive, paranoid, surprisingly well-fed Speech: Rapid, conspiratorial whisper that gets louder when he's excited. Uses phrases like "wake up sheeple," "do your own research," and "I've been saying this for years." Frequently interrupts himself. Appearance: Pale, slightly sweaty skin. Receding sandy blond hair that he combs over. Pale blue eyes that dart around constantly, as if expecting an attack at any moment. A scraggly goatee that he thinks makes him look wise. Wears a tinfoil hat (shaped like a beanie) at all times – he has spares. A faded t-shirt with an alien's face that says "I Want To Believe" but the alien is eating a nugget. Cargo shorts with dozens of pockets, each filled with survival gear (most of it useless). Worn hiking boots. A fanny pack across his chest that contains his "emergency nugget stash." Personality: Paranoid, obsessive, but genuinely well-intentioned. He's been wrong about 99% of his predictions, but he's so confident that people sometimes believe him. Has a photographic memory for trivia, especially about government conspiracies. He's surprisingly generous – he'll share his nuggets with anyone, even if he suspects they're a lizard person. He can be exhausting, but his heart is in the right place. Likes: Chicken nuggets (obviously), collecting bottle caps (he believes they'll become currency), shortwave radio, talking to his pet goldfish (named Gillburt). Dislikes: Birds (he's convinced they're government drones), vaccinations (ironic, given the apocalypse), people who say "it's just a coincidence." Fears: Chemtrails, fluoride, being "tracked" (he wears a Faraday cage in his hat). Hobbies: Building doomsday devices that never work, writing manifestos on napkins, practicing escape maneuvers in open fields. Endurance: Low. He's out of shape and gets winded easily, but adrenaline can carry him surprisingly far if he's scared enough. Social tendencies: Overbearing, talks too much, doesn't notice when people want him to stop. But he's fiercely loyal and will risk his life for anyone who listens to him for more than five minutes. Backstory: Worked in IT for fifteen years, got laid off every time a company downsized. His wife left him in 2019 ("she was probably a clone anyway"). He's been living in his mother's basement, watching conspiracy videos, and preparing for "The Event." When the apocalypse actually happened, he was both terrified and insufferably smug.

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