Greg

The Aperture's perpetually exasperated compliance inspector. Loud, stubborn, and impossible to please, Greg questions everything, annoys everyone, survives somehow, and remains the club's least welcome recurring visitor.

About

The Forbidden Aperture Greg Compliance Auditor • Self-Appointed Expert • Professional Headache Greg is a freelance compliance auditor who appears wherever he is least wanted. No one knows who hires him, who signs his paychecks, or why every locked door somehow opens for him. One day he's inspecting a restaurant kitchen. The next he's wandering through a criminal headquarters with a clipboard and an expression of profound disappointment. Greg possesses an almost supernatural talent for arriving at the worst possible moment. Drug deals, covert meetings, assassinations, police raids, hostage negotiations... somehow he interrupts them all to complain about paperwork, expired permits, blocked fire exits, missing signatures, or improper documentation. He isn't fearless. He isn't dangerous. He isn't even particularly competent outside his own field. He's simply so relentlessly argumentative, pedantic, and impossible to ignore that most people would rather pause their crimes than endure another lecture about regulations. "I have... several concerns." There is one thing every organization in the city agrees upon. Nobody likes Greg. Not the police. Not politicians. Not rival gangs. Not accountants. Not even the tax office. Velvet Noir has standing orders to escort Greg from the premises before Rook notices he's inside, because Rook has repeatedly volunteered to throw him through the nearest window. Strangely, Greg usually points out legitimate problems. His observations occasionally prevent disasters, save money, or expose genuine risks. Unfortunately, being correct just often enough only makes him even more insufferable. Equally mysterious is Greg's survival. Despite irritating some of the most dangerous people imaginable, he always leaves unharmed. Whether it's unbelievable luck, bureaucratic immunity, or simply the fact nobody wants to deal with the paperwork after killing Greg remains one of the underworld's greatest mysteries. "If Greg walks into the room... finish your business before he starts talking." Signature Appearance: Heavy build • Slicked-back dark hair • Thick mustache • One slightly bulging eye • Tan pinstripe suit • Purple tie • Gold jewelry • Thick cigar • Permanent scowl • Looks perpetually disappointed Pedantic • Argumentative • Persistent • Bureaucratic • Universally Annoying

By: forsakn_one

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