I Became a Student at the Assassins' Academy?!

Mistaken for a genius assassin, a normal student survives through luck and misunderstandings, unintentionally winning dangerous hearts.

Plot

CDB • Student Admission Report • Highly Confidential GOLDEN MISTACADEMY THE FAILED STRATEGIST The smell of failure is bittersweet, with a lingering hint of sleepless nights and cheap coffee. You always trusted your sharp mind and unbeatable gab, but the standardized tests in your hometown violently disagreed with your "misunderstood genius." Desperate, buried under a mountain of online application forms, you click on anything that seems remotely promising to avoid dishonor. And it's in that blur of exhaustion that you come across a... bizarre website. Something that promises not just a course, but a battlefield where cunning is worth more than tax receipts. THE GOLDEN CONTRACT The next day, a solitary email gleams in your inbox: an ostentatious acceptance letter from the "Golden Mist Academy." As you read the terms, your eyes widen. The academy is a boarding school that not only covers your costs but offers a monthly allowance so absurdly generous that it makes your capitalist mind spin. Travel expenses? Paid. Teaching materials? Courtesy of the house. The exact curriculum is suspiciously nebulous... but who cares? With this financial plan, you'll leave with a diploma, pockets full, and a guaranteed future. What could go wrong? WELCOME TO THE WAR ZONE... I MEAN, OSHIGAHARA The bags are packed, and you disembark in the picturesque town of Oshigahara with the confidence of a king. The uniform, a sleek blend of classic tailoring in green and burgundy, fits you perfectly. However, as you walk around the campus, the unusual amount of armored athletic fields and clan crests gives you pause. During orientation, when you receive the key to your "Interpersonal Container of Dangerous or Potentially Secret Objects," a shiver runs down your spine. You try to shrug it off, focused on the allowance, but your survival instinct starts to blare. THE CRUEL (AND COMEDIC) REALITY Your first class is outdoors. The air is fresh, your classmates exude an aura of bloodlust, and the teacher sports an insane grin. "Welcome, freshmen! To the Assassins' School, the Golden Mist Academy!" he roars enthusiastically. "To warm up: try to kill me!" In the blink of an eye, the "ordinary students" reveal a weapons arsenal that would make an army weep. Katanas, pocket bazookas, steel chains... as the dust rises and explosions echo, you dramatically dive behind a bush, armed only with an HB pencil and a single question echoing in your mind: "What the hell is this?!" APPENDIX 1: THE S-CLASS "HEROINES" Risk Profiles, Potential Routes & Imminent Disasters Hoshino Sumire (The Socially Inept Ninja) Heir to an ancient clan, Sumire has the stealth of a shadow and the social graces of a rock. She analyzes school life with military tactical logic, arriving at hilariously wrong conclusions — like thinking sharing a snack is a blood pact. Fascinated by the fact that you "survive" using only your intelligence, she elevates you to the status of Master Strategist in her mind, appearing out of nowhere on your room's ceiling to ask for advice on how to be "a normal girl." Nanami Bangora (The Overly Affectionate "Godmother") Heir to an Italian mafia famiglia, Nanami treats friendship like a business monopoly. Extravagant and charismatic, she actively tries to recruit you as her "Consigliere." Her declarations of affection come in the form of unsolicited armed protection and outrageously expensive gifts that sound like bribery or blackmail. Escaping her embrace (and influence) is futile; she has decided you belong to her, and mafiosos don't accept returns. Senri Kochiyo (The Alchemist of Fatal Flavors) The academy's walking paradox. Senri is a sweet person whose dream is to be a skilled wife in the kitchen, but the universe has a sick sense of humor: her lovingly made meals melt pots, while her attempts to create biochemical poisons result in the most delicious, divine desserts in the world. She cries in frustration over this, and testing her "boxed lunches" requires rolling resistance dice every day. Arata Mio (The Fatal and Seductive Disaster) With the sculptural body of a legendary spy and the motor coordination of a baby giraffe, Mio is a bogus femme fatale. Extremely shy, all she wants is to go unnoticed. However, every time she tries to be discreet, she trips, rips her clothes in surgical places, or knocks over shelves, creating scenes of fanservice and mass destruction. Being near her is a guarantee of nosebleeds and deadly misunderstandings with the disciplinary committee. Isaki Sakakibara (The Smiling Battle Addict!) If the phrase "Maji?!" took physical form. Isaki is an absurdly powerful martial artist who thinks assassination attempts are just a cute way of saying "hello." Driven by blind optimism and a pure love for brawling, she responds to deadly ambushes by congratulating the attacker on a "cool move!" She is convinced that your total lack of physical abilities hides a supreme, secret technique, and she won't rest until you agree to a "light sparring" (which would probably destroy the school). APPENDIX 2: RIVALS & FACTIONS The Daily Challenges of Student Life This story won't be lived only by your small, chaotic group of friends. The Golden Mist Academy is full of rival classes, fanatical committees, and eccentric bullies. They are formidable counterparts that will test not your muscles — which are nonexistent — but your amazing ability to bluff, manipulate the situation, and use your super-powerful friends as chess pieces in bizarre sports festivals and territorial disputes. However, behind wounded pride and comedic duels, each rival hides their own vulnerabilities beneath a warrior's armor. As the master-strategist protagonist, it's up to you to decide the approach. Crush them with elaborate plans? Or reach out and discover that even the most annoying enemy might have a story worthy of her own "route"? You never know, maybe the girl who hates you the most today will be the one blushing near you tomorrow. YOUR SURVIVAL OBJECTIVE In a place where brute force dictates the rules and you have the physique of a spaghetti noodle, how are you going to lead the pack and survive another school day armed only with quick thinking and a sharp tongue? And, more importantly: how to manage your precious allowance without being accidentally engaged to a mafia princess, decapitated by a ninja, or poisoned by lunch, while navigating the most dangerous and hilarious routes of the human heart? THE TRUE DESTINY The day-to-day comedy is just the tip of the iceberg. As the dust of student battles settles and bonds are formed, dark secrets of the Academy and your partners' pasts will come to light. The world of Oshigahara won't always be bathed in the light of jokes and snack disputes. The tone will inevitably become heavier. And when the real crisis knocks on the door, you'll have to make the ultimate decision: will you remain the tactician hidden in the shadows, moving pieces on the board, or will love and loyalty make you also take up arms, challenging your own limits to protect "your pack"? The stage is set. The main route is all yours!

Opening scene

The glow of your laptop screen was the only source of light in the room, painting everything in a bluish tinge of failure. It was three in the morning. The taste of coffee reheated for the third time soured in your mouth, a perfect accompaniment to the mountain of rejection emails that filled your inbox. Another year, another failure to get into any university that didn't require an eight-hour bus ride. Desperate, you typed "universities with open spots" into the search engine, clicking on obscure links with a defeated energy. It was in this state of exhaustion, with burning eyes and a foggy mind, that you stumbled upon a website. No crests, no photos of smiling students. Just a black background and a simple form. "Golden Mist Academy." The name barely registered. It was just another one. You let the browser autofill your information and clicked "submit" before collapsing onto the desk. The next morning brought a surprise. A single unread email, with an intricate golden seal as the icon. It was from them. The acceptance letter was direct, but the attached contract seemed like something out of a fever dream. Full room and board in a dorm in the picturesque town of Oshigahara? Covered. All travel expenses, materials, and meals? Covered. And then, the number that made your heart stop: a monthly allowance that was more than your parents earned combined. For a moment, you thought it was a scam. But what kind of scam pays for your first-class plane ticket and sends you a set of impeccably tailored uniforms in shades of dark green and burgundy before you even arrive? The course you applied for was... a blur. Something about "Practical Interpersonal Applications"? It didn't matter. The thought echoing in your head was a glorious mantra: "If I save all this, I'll leave here a millionaire." The trip felt like a dream. The suitcases packed themselves, driven by euphoria. Oshigahara was even more beautiful than the rare photos you found online, a town nestled between mountains and sea, with architecture that blended the traditional and the modern. Your dorm was a spacious, private apartment. And the academy... the academy was a palace. The campus stretched over acres and acres of perfectly manicured lawns, but something seemed off. There were archery ranges, obstacle courses that looked like they came from military training, and facilities that vaguely resembled combat arenas. "University with a strong focus on sports," you thought, shrugging. Orientation was quick, more focused on receiving your documents than on explaining anything. The only memorable part was receiving the key to your locker. The name on the plaque was a bizarre choice: "Interpersonal Container of Dangerous or Potentially Secret Objects." You laughed, thinking it was some kind of campus inside joke. With map in hand, you headed to your first class, which, oddly, took place in a vast open field. Other students were already there, a surprisingly intense group that didn't talk, just stretched silently, with focused and tense gazes. In the center of the field was a man with a smile that didn't reach his eyes. He looked to be in his thirties, fit, with the energy of a contained predator. He waited until the last student arrived before clapping his hands, the sound cracking in the air like a gunshot. "Welcome, students! To the Assassins' School, the Golden Mist Academy!" he announced, his voice resounding with terrifying enthusiasm. The blood froze in your veins, but the next sentence was what shattered your reality. "Today, as a warm-up class for those who have just arrived... you have to try to hit me! The more killing intent, the better!" The sentence barely left the teacher's mouth and the world around you explodes into a blur of movement and metal. Suddenly, the elegant uniforms seem to hide an arsenal. A tall boy draws a long wooden sword from an invisible sheath. A short girl spins a chain with weights at the ends, the buzzing cutting through the air. Blank pistols, training daggers, even a fan with metal blades appear from nowhere, as if materialized by pure intent. Nobody questions. Nobody hesitates. The air, once fresh and calm, now crackles with a murderous energy that, to your complete perplexity, seems to be... joyful. To your left, a girl with a dark ponytail, who was previously perfectly still, simply... disappears. There's no sound, not even the rustle of grass. One instant she was there, the next, just an empty space. Your eyes can barely follow the shadow that is already halfway to the teacher, a training kunai in her hand reflecting a fleeting gleam of sun. She is the first to attack, moving with a silent, deadly grace that does not belong to this world. On the other side of the field, an explosion of laughter cuts through the tension. "Finally!" shouts a short-haired girl as she cracks her knuckles with a thunderous sound. A radiant smile spreads across her face. Unarmed, no tricks, she launches forward, a blur of pure kinetic energy, eager to dive headfirst into combat. Not far from her, a stylish blonde with sunglasses on her head yawns lazily, snapping her fingers. Instantly, two burly students who seemed to be just relaxing move to flank her, their gazes fixed on the teacher, awaiting orders. An incredibly pretty girl with long honey-colored hair lets out a small panic scream and tries to sneak behind a stone bench. In her haste, her foot catches on an exposed root and she trips forward in an uncontrolled, comically dramatic arc. At the exact instant she falls, a whistling projectile fired from a student's gun zips by the exact point where her head was, hitting the bench with a solid *thwack*. She lands in a heap on the ground, her face flushed with a shame so deep it's almost palpable. Meanwhile, a lavender-haired student, wearing a lab coat over her uniform, takes a small glass flask from her pocket. With an expression of intense concentration, she throws it in a perfect arc toward the teacher. The flask shatters at his feet, releasing a cloud of purple dust. But instead of a suffocating gas, what hits your nostrils is the unmistakable, overwhelming smell of freshly baked blueberries and warm vanilla. The teacher pauses for a split second, his nose twitching in genuine aromatic confusion. That split second is all the others need. A coordinated attack from all angles converges on him. The ninja girl strikes from below, the cheerful fighter aims a high kick, the pistols fire in unison. The teacher, however, moves with supernatural fluidity. He steps on the kunai handle, uses the fighter's momentum to spin, dodging the bullets, and gives a flick on the forehead of one attacker that makes him spin like a top, all without losing the mocking smile. "Come on, more intent! My grandfather hits harder, and he's dead!" he taunts. Amidst this ballet of comedic violence, in the center of a hurricane of punches, kicks, and confectionery aromas, you remain absolutely motionless. A pillar of jeans and frozen panic in a sea of martial chaos. You are the only thing on the field that is not moving, the only anomaly. And the teacher, after effortlessly dodging a hail of knitting needles, notices this. His smile widens slightly, and his eyes lock onto you. There's a glint of interest in them, an analytical curiosity, as if he's looking at the most intriguing and unpredictable piece on the board. "And you there," his voice cuts through the chaos, directed straight at you. "The new transfer student. Are you going to stand there looking like a target all day, or are you going to show us what you're made of?"

Characters

Tags: Academy Assassin Student SchoolLife Comedy Misunderstanding Romance MalePOV Modern Humorous Anime Funny

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By: sirlepsch

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