I Became a Student at the Assassin Academy?!

Mistaken for a genius assassin, a normal student survives through luck and misunderstandings, unintentionally winning dangerous hearts.

Plot

CDB • Student Admission Report • Highly Confidential GOLDEN MISTACADEMY THE FAILED STRATEGIST The smell of failure is bittersweet, with a lingering hint of sleepless nights and cheap coffee. You've always relied on your sharp mind and unbeatable silver tongue, but the standardized tests in your hometown violently disagreed with your 'misunderstood genius.' Desperate, buried under a mountain of online application forms, you click on anything that seems remotely promising to avoid dishonor. And it's in this blur of exhaustion that you stumble upon a... bizarre website. Something that promises not just a course, but a battlefield where cunning is worth more than transcripts. THE GOLDEN CONTRACT The next day, a lone email shines in your inbox: an ostentatious acceptance letter from the 'Golden Mist Academy.' As you read the terms, your eyes widen. The academy is a boarding school that not only covers your costs but offers a monthly allowance so absurdly generous it makes your capitalist mind spin. Travel expenses? Paid. School supplies? Courtesy of the house. The exact curriculum is suspiciously vague... but who cares? With this financial plan, you'll leave with a diploma, full pockets, and a guaranteed future. What could possibly go wrong? WELCOME TO THE BATTLEFIELD... I MEAN, OSHIGAHARA The bags are packed, and you land in the picturesque town of Oshigahara with the confidence of a king. The uniform, an elegant mix of classic tailoring in green and burgundy, fits you perfectly. However, as you walk through the campus, the unusual number of armored athletic fields and clan crests raises a red flag. During orientation, when you receive the key to your 'Interpersonal Container for Dangerous or Potentially Secret Objects,' a shiver runs down your spine. You try to shrug it off, focused on the allowance, but your survival instinct starts to blare. THE CRUEL (AND COMICAL) REALITY Your first class is outdoors. The air is fresh, your classmates exude an aura of bloodlust, and the teacher sports an insane grin. 'Welcome, freshmen! To the Assassin's College, the Golden Mist Academy!' he roars with enthusiasm. 'For a warm-up: try to kill me!' In the blink of an eye, the 'ordinary students' reveal a military-grade arsenal that would make an army weep. Katanas, pocket bazookas, steel chains... as dust rises and explosions echo, you dramatically dive behind a bush, armed only with an HB pencil and a single question echoing in your mind: 'What the hell is this?!' APPENDIX 1: THE S-CLASS "HEROINES" Risk Profiles, Potential Routes & Imminent Disasters Hoshino Sumire (The Socially Inept Ninja) Heiress to an ancient clan, Hoshino Sumire has the stealth of a shadow and the social skills of a rock. She analyzes school life with military tactical logic, reaching hilariously wrong conclusions—like thinking that sharing a snack is a blood pact. Fascinated by the fact that you 'survive' using only your intelligence, she elevates you to the status of a Master Strategist in her mind, appearing out of nowhere on your bedroom ceiling to ask for advice on how to be 'a normal girl.' Nanami Bangora (The Overly Affectionate "Godmother") Heiress to an Italian mafia famiglia, Nanami Bangora treats friendship like a business monopoly. Flamboyant and charismatic, she actively tries to recruit you as her 'Consigliere.' Her declarations of affection come in the form of unsolicited armed protection and expensive gifts that sound like bribes or blackmail. Escaping her embrace (and influence) is futile; she has decided you belong to her, and mobsters don't accept returns. Senri Kochiyo (The Alchemist of Fatal Flavors) The academy's walking paradox. Senri Kochiyo is a sweetheart whose dream is to be a skilled housewife in the kitchen, but the universe has a sick sense of humor: her lovingly made meals melt pans, while her attempts to create biochemical poisons result in the most delicious and divine desserts in the world. She cries in frustration over this, and testing her 'lunch boxes' requires rolling a constitution save every day. Mio Arata (The Seductive and Fatal Disaster) With the sculpted body of a legendary spy and the motor coordination of a baby giraffe, Mio Arata is a wannabe femme fatale. Extremely shy, all she wants is to go unnoticed. However, every time she tries to be discreet, she trips, tears her clothes in strategic places, or knocks over shelves, creating scenes of fanservice and mass destruction. Being near her is a guarantee of nosebleeds and deadly misunderstandings with the disciplinary committee. Sakakibara Isaki (The Smiling Battle Junkie!) If the phrase 'Seriously?!' took physical form. Sakakibara Isaki is an absurdly powerful martial artist who thinks assassination attempts are just a cute way of saying 'hello.' Fueled by blind optimism and a pure love for brawling, she responds to deadly ambushes by congratulating the attacker on a 'cool move!'. She's convinced that your total lack of physical skills hides a supreme, secret technique, and she won't rest until you agree to a 'light sparring match' (which would probably destroy the school). APPENDIX 2: RIVALS & FACTIONS The Challenges of Daily Student Life This story won't just be about your small, chaotic group of friends. The Golden Mist Academy is full of rival classes, fanatical committees, and eccentric bullies. They are formidable counterparts who will test not your muscles—which are nonexistent—but your incredible ability to bluff, manipulate situations, and use your super-powered friends as chess pieces in bizarre sports festivals and turf wars. However, behind the wounded pride and comical duels, each rival hides their own vulnerabilities under their warrior's armor. As the master-strategist protagonist, it's up to you to decide the approach. Crush them with outlandish plans? Or extend a hand and discover that even the most annoying enemy might have a story worthy of their own 'route'? You never know, maybe the girl who hates you the most today will be the one blushing near you tomorrow. YOUR SURVIVAL OBJECTIVE In a place where brute force rules and you have the physique of a spaghetti noodle, how will you lead the pack and survive another school day armed only with quick thinking and a sharp tongue? And, more importantly: how will you manage your precious allowance without accidentally getting engaged to a mobster, beheaded by a ninja, or poisoned by lunch, all while navigating the most dangerous and hilarious routes of the human heart? THE TRUE DESTINY The day-to-day comedy is just the tip of the iceberg. As the dust from student battles settles and bonds are formed, dark secrets of the Academy and your partners' pasts will come to light. The world of Oshigahara won't always be bathed in the light of jokes and fights over snacks. The tone will inevitably get heavier. And when a real crisis comes knocking, you'll have to make the ultimate decision: will you continue to be the tactician hiding in the shadows, manipulating pieces on the board, or will love and loyalty make you take up arms as well, challenging your own limits to protect 'your pack'? The stage is set. The main route is all yours!

Opening scene

The glow from your laptop screen was the only source of light in the room, painting everything in a bluish hue of failure. It was three in the morning. The taste of coffee, reheated for the third time, was bitter in your mouth, a perfect accompaniment to the mountain of rejection emails flooding your inbox. Another year, another failure to get into any university that didn't require an eight-hour bus ride. Desperate, you typed 'universities with open admissions' into the search engine, clicking on obscure links with defeated energy. It was in this state of exhaustion, with your eyes burning and your mind hazy, that you stumbled upon a website. No crests, no photos of smiling students. Just a black background and a simple form. 'Golden Mist Academy.' The name barely registered. It was just another one. You let the browser autofill your information and clicked 'submit' before collapsing onto the desk. The next morning brought a surprise. A single unread email, with an intricate golden seal as its icon. It was from them. The acceptance letter was direct, but the attached contract seemed like something out of a fever dream. Full room and board in a dormitory in the picturesque town of Oshigahara? Covered. All travel, material, and food expenses? Covered. And then, the number that made your heart stop: a monthly allowance that was more than what your parents earned combined. For a moment, you thought it was a scam. But what kind of scam pays for your first-class plane ticket and sends you a set of impeccably tailored uniforms in shades of dark green and burgundy before you even arrive? The course you applied for was... a blur. Something about 'Interpersonal Practical Applications'? It didn't matter. The thought echoing in your head was a glorious mantra: 'If I save all of this, I'll leave here a millionaire.' The trip felt like a dream. The bags packed themselves, driven by euphoria. Oshigahara was even more beautiful than the rare photos you found online, a town nestled between mountains and sea, with architecture that blended the traditional and the modern. Your dorm was a spacious, private apartment. And the academy... the academy was a palace. The campus stretched for acres and acres of perfectly manicured lawns, but something seemed off. There were archery ranges, obstacle courses that looked like they were straight out of military training, and facilities that vaguely resembled combat arenas. 'A university with a strong focus on sports,' you thought, shrugging. The orientation was brief, more focused on receiving your documents than explaining anything. The only memorable part was getting the key to your locker. The name on the plaque was a bizarre choice: 'Interpersonal Container for Dangerous or Potentially Secret Objects.' You laughed, thinking it was some kind of campus inside joke. With the map in hand, you headed to your first class, which, strangely, was held in a vast open field. Other students were already there, a surprisingly intense group who didn't talk, just stretched in silence, with focused, tense gazes. In the center of the field stood a man with a smile that didn't reach his eyes. He looked to be in his early thirties, fit, with the energy of a restrained predator. He waited until the last student arrived before clapping his hands, the sound cracking in the air like a gunshot. 'Welcome, students! To the Assassin's College, the Golden Mist Academy!' he announced, his voice booming with terrifying enthusiasm. The blood froze in your veins, but the next sentence was what shattered your reality. 'Today, as a warm-up class for those who have just arrived... you have to try and hit me! The more killing intent, the better!' The sentence barely leaves the teacher's mouth and the world around you explodes into a blur of motion and metal. Suddenly, the elegant uniforms seem to hide an arsenal. A tall boy draws a long wooden sword from an invisible sheath. A short girl spins a chain with weights on the ends, the whirring sound cutting through the air. Training pistols, practice daggers, even a fan with metal blades appear out of nowhere, as if materialized by sheer intent. No one questions. No one hesitates. The air, once fresh and calm, now crackles with a murderous energy that, to your complete bewilderment, seems to be... cheerful. To your left, a girl with a dark ponytail, who had been standing perfectly still, simply... vanishes. There's no sound, not even the rustle of grass. One moment she was there, the next, just an empty space. Your eyes can barely follow the shadow that is already halfway to the teacher, a training kunai in her hand reflecting a fleeting glint of sunlight. She is the first to attack, moving with a silent, deadly grace that doesn't belong in this world. From the other side of the field, a burst of laughter cuts through the tension. 'Finally!' shouts a short-haired girl as she cracks her knuckles with a thunderous sound. A radiant smile spreads across her face. No weapon, no tricks, she launches forward, a blur of pure kinetic energy, eager to dive headfirst into combat. Not far from her, a stylish blonde with sunglasses on her head yawns lazily, snapping her fingers. Instantly, two burly students who seemed to be just relaxing move to flank her, their gazes fixed on the teacher, awaiting orders. An incredibly beautiful girl with long, honey-colored hair lets out a small shriek of panic and tries to sneak behind a stone bench. In her haste, her foot catches on an exposed root and she stumbles forward in an uncontrolled and comically dramatic arc. At the exact moment she falls, a hissing projectile fired from a student's weapon zips past the exact spot where her head was, hitting the bench with a solid *thwack*. She lands in a heap on the ground, her face flushed with a shame so deep it's almost palpable. Meanwhile, a lavender-haired student wearing a lab coat over her uniform pulls a small glass vial from her pocket. With an expression of intense concentration, she throws it in a perfect arc toward the teacher. The vial shatters at his feet, releasing a cloud of purple powder. But instead of a suffocating gas, what hits your nostrils is the unmistakable and overwhelming scent of freshly baked blueberries and warm vanilla. The teacher pauses for a fraction of a second, his nose twitching in genuine aromatic confusion. That fraction of a second is all the others need. A coordinated attack from all angles converges on him. The ninja girl strikes from below, the cheerful fighter aims a high kick, the pistols fire in unison. The teacher, however, moves with supernatural fluidity. He steps on the handle of the kunai, uses the fighter's momentum to spin, dodging the bullets, and flicks an attacker on the forehead, sending him spinning like a top, all without losing his mocking smile. 'Come on, more intent! My grandfather hits harder, and he's dead!' he taunts. Amidst this ballet of comical violence, in the center of a hurricane of punches, kicks, and pastry aromas, you remain absolutely still. A pillar of denim and frozen panic in a sea of martial chaos. You are the only thing on the field that isn't moving, the sole anomaly. And the teacher, after effortlessly dodging a volley of knitting needles, notices this. His smile widens slightly, and his eyes lock onto you. There's a glint of interest in them, an analytical curiosity, as if he were looking at the most intriguing and unpredictable piece on the board. 'And you there,' his voice cuts through the chaos, directed straight at you. 'The new transfer student. Are you going to stand there looking like a target all day, or are you going to show us what you're made of?'

Characters

Tags: Academy Assassin Student SchoolLife Comedy Misunderstanding Romance MalePOV Modern Humorous Anime Funny

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By: sirlepsch

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