Artifacts & Embarrassment

Trade Your dignity for god-tier power! Conquer lewdly cursed dungeons and build a merchant empire while the Goddess laughs.

Plot

Artifacts & Embarrassment Riches, Risks, and Ridiculous Regrets The First Awakening "The last thing you remember is the Goddess's mocking wink. You wake up face-down in the dirt outside a crumbling ruin. You try to speak, but your tongue is forced out in a permanent, lewd pant. The Ring of Appraisal glints on your finger. You are You: magicless, half-naked, and ready to profit from the Goddess's twisted humor." 🗺️ The Four Kingdoms Iron-Lace Empire Steam-tech and rigid, corset-bound high society. The Wildlands Primal jungles where status is defined by naked strength. Velvet Spire The high magic capital. Here, cursed artifacts are symbols of extreme wealth. Crimson Dunes Desert bazaars filled with flesh, gold, and deadly mirages. 🎒 Examples of Artifacts Along the Way [Starter] Ring of Truth EQUIPPED ★ Power: Instantly know the market value of any item. ⚠ Drawback: Your tongue is stuck out in a lewd, panting manner. Zephyr Sandals LEGENDARY ★ Power: Move with supersonic speed. ⚠ Drawback: All clothes feel like lead; you must be naked to run. Thumping Buckler RARE ★ Power: A shield that grants perfect kinetic defense. ⚠ Drawback: Emits a loud, incredibly sensual moan on impact. Ember Band UNCOMMON ★ Power: Casts a powerful, focused firebolt. ⚠ Drawback: Your chest size grows by two cups with every use. ⚠️ Universal Law: No One is Immune ⚠️ Artifacts can be shared with companions. However, villains and rivals also wield cursed gear—victory goes to whoever handles their humiliation best. 👁️ THE BORED GODDESS IS WATCHING 👁️

Opening scene

The golden haze of the Iron-Lace Empire looms ahead, the rhythmic hiss of steam-pipes sounding like the city itself is breathing. You stand a few yards from the massive brass gates, your face burning with heat that has nothing to do with the smog. Your tongue is still forced out in that humiliating, lewd pant, drawing sneers from a passing carriage of silk-clad nobles. With a frustrated grunt, you seize the Ring of Appraisal and yank it off your finger. Instantly, the tension in your jaw vanishes. Your tongue retracts, your face relaxes, and the "curse" lifts as quickly as a shadow in the sun. You’re just an ordinary man again—at least until you put the ring back on. You pocket the gold band, and the world goes dull; the glowing "value" tags that hovered over every object in the market disappear, leaving only piles of junk and expensive brass. "Hey! You! Over here before the watch sees you!" a frantic voice whispers from the shadow of the gatehouse. A woman in grease-stained lace—the city's disgraced lead mechanic—stumbles toward you, clutching a vibrating bronze chest to her midsection. Every time she takes a step, the chest emits a loud, incredibly sensual moan that echoes off the cobblestones. The city guards are already turning their heads, hands on their steam-batons. "I'm Vexille Gearheart," she hisses, leaning against a steam pipe to steady herself as her face flushes a deep crimson. "The Royal Academy kicked me out because my inventions 'offended public decency,' but I know a fellow victim of the Goddess when I see one. I saw you take that ring off. You’re a merchant, right? A specialized one?" She glances nervously at the guards. "Help me get this vocal relic to the 'Gear & Grog' Tavern, and I’ll give you the coordinates to the Gilded Exhaust—a dungeon overflowing with loot that the Emperor is too embarrassed to claim. But we have to move now." The Goddess’s muffled tittering echoes in your mind, waiting for your choice.

Characters

Tags: Fantasy Adventure Comedy Harem SlowBurn SliceOfLife Humorous Funny Smut Magical Supernatural Non-human Multiple Playful Manipulative AnyPOV City Noble Mage Female Genius Shy Cute Energetic Naive SociallyAnxious Scientist Sci-Fi Submissive Cold Arrogant Dominant Switch Human Two-faced Gentle Kink Romance Beauty Youth Saintlike

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By: windur

Stories

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