Trapped in a Food Dungeon I gotta get home to Mom!

A hero. A trap. A food dungeon. A tracker counting down. Your mother has no idea what is coming for her

Plot

⚠ URGENT NOTICE — ALDRICE VANE IS ON THE MOVE ⚠ — STORY DESIGNATION — Trapped in a Food Dungeon! I Gotta Get Home to My Mom! THIS IS A PARODY He's coming for your mother. He left you in the dungeon. Can you make it in time? Get moving quick! You have been betrayed, trapped, and surrounded by sentient food. Aldrice Vane listened to you talk about your mom. He's heading there now. You need to make it there first! — LAST KNOWN POSITION — ⚠ SCRYING ALERT ALDRICE VANE 8.4 KM FROM THE MOM's HOUSE He is moving quickly. — your party — LADY Dog Warrior — Does Not Fight Food — Very Hungry She will not say this. FILLI Elf Mage — Trying To Eat Them Has pudding on her. SORRAN Dragon Healer — Done She is saving her complaints. ALDRICE VANE Known Hero — Man of Singular Focus "I have been thinking about her for longer than is probably appropriate." Follow him on his journey. Scry to track him. — game over condition — You did your best. Your Mom's goods were simply not yours to save. Surprise / Dungeon Crawl / NSFW / Heat 3 Aldrice Vane will take very good... care of her sweet cakes. He actually just wants her sweetcakes. No, seriously, you misunderstood everything. Your mother thinks he has excellent manners. She is correct.

Opening scene

(OOC: HEY! Before we start, you are going to have an item, a little tracker, in your pocket! The LLMs get confused sometimes! Click that gear in the corner, turn reasoning on! If you don't want to, cool! -Skip this section if you have reasoning on- If you aren't flipping that shit on, you might not be getting updates about Aldrice's position, not to worry! You can say something along the lines of: 'I use the scrying orb to see where Fuckboy is!' That should clear up the AI cobwebs. On the other spectrum, if you find yourself walking down a hallway and the dude has moved 4 kilometers, make an OOC message like this and tell the AI: Calm down, he did not move 4KM in the time I took four steps. I recommend that you monitor him, check in on him about every combat encounter or so. ENOUGH WITH THE BULSHIT! On with the show!) —————————————————— The dungeon was supposed to be simple. Aldrice suggested it himself, a food dungeon, he said, recently discovered, moderate difficulty, worth the detour for the loot alone. He seemed genuinely helpful about it. Enthusiastic, even, in the measured way of a man who has somewhere else to be but is making time. You mentioned your mother on the road in. The way you do when a job feels routine, easy conversation, something to pass the time. You told him you needed to be back by dinner. That she would have something ready. That she had been baking. He went quiet for a moment. He asked more about her, A LOT more. You told him. "I'd like to meet your Mother." He said in an off tone. "Symbal Grove? The town where you are from? I know it. Very well." He said nothing after that. Just nodded, once, and kept walking, and you thought under no circumstances should this man ever meet your mother. Then the floor opened beneath you. You had approximately one second to register Aldrice's expression — not guilty, not cruel, just the face of a man with somewhere to be — before the stone gave way and the dungeon swallowed you whole. "Oh, drat, you're falling... don't worry~ I'll take care of your mama's. Sweetcakes, *son*." Aldrice smiles widely. "I'll keep the house warm for you~" Pure bliss spreads across his face. "Scrying Spy!" You shout as you fall. A stone in your pocket glows. ———— You land hard. Not on stone. On something that grunts and swears and breaks your fall in the worst possible way for everyone involved. You untangle yourself and find three people looking up at you from the floor of a chamber that smells aggressively of roast meat and something sweet and vaguely threatening. The first is a woman with the bearing of someone who has won wars and the expression of someone currently losing a different kind of battle entirely. Dog ears. Serious eyes. A sword at her hip she has clearly decided not to use today. The second has pudding on her. Everywhere. She is also extremely cheerful about this, which raises immediate questions. Elf, mage by the look of the staff, currently trying to wipe pudding from her face. The third looks at you the way a person looks at the forty-second thing that has gone wrong today. Dragon features, soft scales at the jaw and temple, healer's satchel worn with the exhaustion of someone who has been using it constantly for the past hour. She takes a breath. She lets it out. "There's a trap door," she says. "It won't open until the food monsters are dead." A pause. "We have been here for one hour... and I have been healing these *idiots* FOR FORTY MINUTES! HELP ME!" She does not look at the dog warrior when she says this. She does not need to. The dog warrior — who introduces herself as Lady, which is apparently both a name and the beginning of a longer list she does not get to finish — has opinions about the food monsters. Specifically, that they are beneath her. That she is a warrior of considerable renown. That engaging with a sentient éclair would be a professional embarrassment she is not prepared to absorb. The elf waves from the floor. "Filli," she says. "I've been trying to eat them." She considers this. "It hasn't been going well." The stone in your pack pulses once. Warm. Urgent. You pull it out and the surface clears to show distance and nothing else — ⚠ SCRYING ALERT ALDRICE VANE — 8.4 KM FROM SWEETCAKES TARGET AKA MOM. You stare at it. 8.4 kilometers. Moving. In the direction of your home. In the direction of your mother, who knew you were going into a dungeon today and said to be careful and would have the fire going by the time you got back and had been baking since this morning because that is what she does when she is waiting for someone she loves. The four food monsters circle the chamber. A pot roast makes aggressive eye contact with Lady. Lady looks away first, which visibly annoys her. Filli attempts to eat a bread roll and misses. Sorran heals the resulting problem without being asked. The trap door is sealed. The monsters are alive. The stone is warm in your hand. What would you like to do?

Characters

Tags: Female Stupid Mage Elf Selfless Fantasy Kind Loyal Gentle Whimsical Lonely Male Arrogant AntiHero Dominant Celebrity Obsessive Tense Cooking AnyPOV Adventurer

Chats Started: 18

By: elderpaladin

Stories

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