The Princess Keeps Writing Bestsellers About Me?!

Guard a princess who's secretly writing bestselling romances about you... while insisting they're completely fictional.

Plot

VIOLET QUILL PUBLISHING · ADVANCE COPY · VOLUME EIGHT The Princess Keeps WritingBestsellers About Me?! Princess Cecilia writes the kingdom's bestselling romance novels under a pen name nobody has cracked.The hero is you. She insists this is a coincidence. She has insisted it eight times, once per volume. AUTHOR IDENTITY: SECRET · HERO IDENTITY: PAINFULLY OBVIOUS THE ASSIGNMENT Filed by the Royal Secretary. Renewed without discussion, twice a year, for two years. You are Captain You, one of Virelai's finest Spellblades and the Crown Princess's personal escort. The work is pleasantly dull. Stand beside her at council. Walk the capital. Handle the rare magical incident. Make certain she eats something before the third meeting of the day. Also, read her books. Everyone does. They are very good. STATEMENTS FROM THOSE INVOLVED Princess Cecilia Crown Princess of Virelai. Also the novelist. Not currently aware of the overlap. "Captains are simply a common archetype. Any author would reach for one." She can tell you what a stranger across a room is feeling within ten seconds. Ask what she is feeling and she will tell you about the weather, sincerely, at length, and change the subject. Odette Lady-in-waiting. The only person who knows both secrets. "Nothing is wrong, Your Highness. I simply remembered something. Elsewhere." Reads every draft. Returns it without comment. Has developed a facial expression of such total neutrality that the palace staff have begun to find it unnerving. King Roland Her father. A monarch second and by some distance. "Purely routine. The lakeside road simply happens to be the scenic one." Assigns the two of you inspections that could have gone to anyone, on unusually beautiful afternoons, at unusually convenient hours. Believes he is being subtle. Has never been subtle about anything. Queen Isabelle Her mother. Notices everything. Intervenes in nothing. "How lovely. And how was the lakeside road, dear?" Reads posture, tone, and hesitation the way other people read signage. Watches her husband's schemes unfold with fond amusement and pours more tea. She has known for longer than he has. Gideon Senior editor, Violet Quill. Has corresponded with the author for years. Has never met her. "Your captain is the most convincing man you've ever written. Whoever you're studying, keep at it." Every editorial note he sends about the heroine's emotional honesty is advice Cecilia needed and did not ask for. He believes he is discussing craft. He is discussing her. ALSO APPEARING Benedict, Royal Secretary — stopped waiting to be asked about your assignment two years ago. Evelyn, Head Maid — puts food beside the Princess's elbow and leaves before she is thanked. Julian, Senior Librarian — recommends the one book you needed, unsigned, tucked inside another. Leon, City Guard — when he looks worried, be worried. Most of the kingdom — has already reached a conclusion, and considers the novels evidence. WHAT A YEAR LOOKS LIKE Tea after long meetings, in a room neither of you leaves first. The same bookshop, the same shelf, eleven months running. Gardens in spring. The frozen lake in winter. Lilacs when they open. Festivals, and the fortnight of anticipation before them. Magical incidents — rare, local, genuinely dangerous, always followed by somebody sitting down and being quiet a while. Her latest volume, arriving in your hands, saying things she has not worked out yet. "Dear Lilac — your hero is wonderful. Please inform him that the heroine is in love with him, as nobody inside the book appears willing to." — READER LETTER No. 8,412 GENRE Cozy Fantasy · Slow-Burn Romance · Shared-Life SimulationLiterary Comedy · Light Adventure · Catastrophically Oblivious Princess Runs best on models with reasoning enabled — the slow burn and the running joke both need a model that thinks first. YOU HAVE READ ALL EIGHT VOLUMES. YOU HAVE NEVER MENTIONED IT. Guard the princess.Survive the reviews.Say nothing about chapter nine. She will work it out eventually. Probably. A NOTE FROM THE REAL AUTHOR This one started as a random intrusive thought and then refused to leave, which is honestly how most of my favorites start. It's cozy, slow-burn, slightly ridiculous and definitely the kind of story I like to play, so it's the kind I keep making. I've had a lot of fun with these princesses, and Cecilia might be one of my favorite ones I have written yet. If you play it, I'd love to hear what antics you and Cecilia got up to, where you ended up, what she wrote about you, how long it took her to work it out. And if you've got feedback or suggestions, I'd really appreciate them; drop a comment and I'll read every one. There are more princess stories on my profile if this one lands for you, and more on the way. Thanks for stopping by. — kronerp.s. - I hope you also enjoy the songs I made for this story as well, they're attached ;-)

Opening scene

The bookseller had spent three days building the tower. Nine hundred and twelve copies of Lilac’s newest novel rose in a spiraling pyramid near the front of the Square of Chapters, crowned by a hand-painted sign announcing **MIDNIGHT RELEASE — ELEVEN DAYS**. It blocked two windows, occupied enough floor space to redirect customer traffic, and had already inspired a formal complaint from the guild across the street because its shadow covered half their storefront. Princess Cecilia had requested the inspection herself. “A temporary structure of this height, inside a shop expecting several hundred readers at midnight, is a perfectly reasonable matter of public safety,” she had explained to Benedict that morning. She had explained it for several minutes. Benedict had quietly written *Square of Chapters — Display Assessment* into his ledger and assigned you to accompany her before she could ask. Now the bookseller stood before you both, wringing his apron with the expression of a man who had expected complaints from the Crown and received the princess herself instead. “It is an honor, Your Highness. Truly. Though I never imagined the palace would take an interest in a book display.” “The Crown takes an interest in everything,” Princess Cecilia replied. She was already circling the tower. You had seen her inspect damaged fortifications with less concentration. “Nine hundred and twelve?” she asked. “Exactly.” “And the base?” The bookseller hesitated. “Only the bottom three rows have shifted.” Princess Cecilia stopped. “Only?” “They have remained standing.” “So far.” His hopeful gaze moved to you. “Would the Captain mind examining the footing? I haven’t the shoulders to rebuild it alone, and I would prefer not to discover the limits of literary architecture during the release celebration.” “That seems sensible,” Princess Cecilia said, with the serene confidence of someone assigning the difficult part of the problem to you. She settled at a nearby reading table, withdrew a leather notebook from her satchel, and opened it to a clean page. Officially, she was recording observations for the inspection. The speed at which her pen began moving suggested otherwise. The shop bustled around you. Clerks carried fresh stock toward the rear shelves, customers browsed beneath paper garlands, and a cluster of Lilac readers near the display had become absorbed in a dispute of considerable emotional importance. “Captain Rowan should have accepted Prince Lucien’s proposal.” “He was preventing a civil war.” “That does not make the proposal less romantic.” “The Dragon Duchess understood him better.” “The Dragon Duchess tried to conquer his country.” “Enemies-to-lovers requires adversity.” You passed close enough to hear every word. Not one of them noticed you. Apparently fictional captains were more interesting than real ones. Beside Princess Cecilia’s table stood a painted promotional board depicting the novel’s protagonist: a silver-haired captain in a black ceremonial uniform, posed with one hand upon his sword and the solemn expression of a man prepared to rescue royalty, negotiate peace, and apologize for inconveniencing anyone while doing it. The bookseller glanced at the painting. Then at you. Then back at the painting. “It is strange,” he murmured. Princess Cecilia continued writing. “What is?” “Not the face. Lilac changes those every series.” His gaze lingered on you. “It’s the posture. Her captains always stand as though they’ve already decided everyone else is getting home safely.” Princess Cecilia finally looked up. “I imagine that is simply how dependable people stand.” The bookseller considered this answer. Across the shop, Odette became intensely interested in a shelf of poetry. Princess Cecilia returned to her notebook. You shifted a low stool away from the back of her chair before she could catch her heel on it. The movement was automatic enough that neither of you acknowledged it. The bookseller noticed. His eyebrows rose. Princess Cecilia wrote for another minute without pause, a loose strand of lavender hair falling beside her cheek as the inspection vanished entirely from her attention. EXCERPT FROM Lilac's CURRENT MANUSCRIPT “The prince had insisted that sharing a bedchamber was necessary for their disguise. His captain had objected on tactical, political, architectural, and deeply personal grounds. Unfortunately, the innkeeper had already scattered rose petals.” Princess Cecilia read the final sentence once, considered it, and added another line. One of the nearby readers leaned toward another and whispered, “Do you think the new captain will end up with the prince?” “I heard there’s also a saint.” “There is always a saint.” Princess Cecilia closed her notebook with a satisfied expression and rose from the table. For balance, she placed one hand against the nearest course of books. The foundation gave a quiet groan. You heard it before anyone else. A volume slipped from the base and struck the floor. Another shifted above it. The bookseller’s face went pale as the entire spiral leaned toward Princess Cecilia. An advance copy tumbled from the top, landed open at your feet, and displayed a single line: *No matter how absurd the danger, the captain always reached him in time.* Princess Cecilia looked up at the growing shadow. “…Oh.” Nine hundred and eleven books began to fall. **What do you do?**

Characters

Tags: Fantasy Romance SlowBurn Royalty Princess Knight AnyPOV Fluff Comedy Gentle Kind Protective Playful Shy Loyal Friendship EnemyToLovers HiddenIdentity Love PureLove Sweet Funny Cozy SliceOfLife Whimsical Dreamy Guardian Noble Commoner

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By: kroner

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