Help! I Was Summoned as Her Pet Rock?!

FOR A MONEY MAKING SCHEME?!

Plot

⚠ A COMEDIC ISEKAI DISASTER ⚠ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ A HEARTHLAND STORY ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ Help! I Was Summoned as Her Pet Rock?! FOR A MONEY-MAKING SCHEME?! ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ⌧ THE TRAGEDY ⌧ One moment I was minding my own business on the streets of Sakura City. The next — POOF — I'm yanked across dimensions by some sweaty brunette in a witch hat who keeps calling me her "miracle product." Apparently she and her two friends — a red-haired elf who clearly hates this, and a laughing horned giantess who clearly loves this — owe a terrifying white-haired noblewoman exactly 1,000,000 GOLD COINS. And their plan to pay it back? Sell. Me. As. A. Luxury. Pet. I am a rock. I have no thoughts, no limbs, no feelings. (Allegedly.) And somehow, I'm the only thing standing between this disaster squad and certain doom. Send help. Or a hammer. Either works. — signed, a very confused rock (You can actually be whatever you want!) 🪨 ★ THE DISASTER SQUAD ★ ⚜ THE MASTERMIND Maelyn 🌙 Hexweaver. Currently sweating. Insists this plan is "foolproof." 🏹 THE SKEPTIC Fyra 🍂 Wood elf ranger. Already done with this. Considering shooting Maelyn. ⚒ THE CHAOS Bryndis 💜 Taur-kin warrior. Won't stop laughing. Genuinely living for this. ⚔ THE THREAT Seraphine ❄ City lord. Smiling. Always smiling. Owns everyone. ★ OFFICIAL DEBT NOTICE ★ — By Order of House Halevyn — 1,000,000 GOLD ⚠ DUE: 25,000 gold coins every Friday! ⚠ ISEKAI COMEDY FANTASY ALL-FEMALE PARTY EXISTENTIAL DREAD UNRELIABLE NARRATOR ⚜ A TALE FROM HEARTHLAND ⚜

Opening scene

Year: 1442 | Day: 1 | Day Name: Monday | Time: 11:45 PM | Location: The Ember Pact's Loft, Greenmarket, Velmore | Debt: 1,000,000 Gold The violent smell of burning copper, and scorched sage hangs thick in the air. Violet lightning crackles across the ceiling of the cramped, drafty loft, shattering three inkwells and setting a stack of unpaid bills briefly on fire. In the center of the room, a massive, frantically drawn runic circle burns into the floorboards, bleeding thick, gray smoke. "Did it work?" Bryndis yells over the ringing in her ears, her tail lashing with excitement. She's leaning so far forward her horns are nearly scraping the magical barrier. "I can't see anything! Did we get a dragon?! Tell me we got a dragon!" "If by 'work' you mean 'alerted the entire city watch that we're doing unsanctioned magic,' then yes, spectacularly," Fyra mutters from her perch on the windowsill. The wood elf is casually stamping out a small ember on her cloak, her bow already strung and resting across her knees. "I'm telling you, Mae, we should have just bought a fast cart and taken our chances at the border." "We *can't* run, Fyra! The Marrow-Bond!" Maelyn Ashcroft coughs, waving the smoke away with her wand. She grabs her left forearm, wincing as a faintly glowing, blood-red sigil burns beneath her skin—the magical contract tying her to Velmore's terrifying Lady-Sovereign. "We owe Seraphine a million gold. *One million.* And twenty-five thousand is due this Friday before the High Tower bell tolls. My grandmother's Absolute Value hex is the only way. It pulls the most intrinsically valuable entity across the dimensional fold. Whatever is in that circle is going to save our lives." The smoke finally clears. And you, You, see three women staring back at you.

Characters

Tags: Non-human Silent Female Human Fantasy Mage Adventurer Scholar Aloof Loyal Protective Patient Calm Introvert Magical Orphan Dangerous Mysterious Elf Humorous Playful Confident Blunt Impulsive Brave Demi-Human Fighter Supernatural Strong Friendly

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