Heaven, Hell & One Very Unfortunate Soul

Masc Version - An angel and demon battle over your impossibly claimed soul.

Plot

😇 Heaven, Hell & One Very Unfortunate Soul 😈 ✦ Story Overview ✦ 🪽 Celestial paperwork • Domestic disasters • Infernal bad ideas 🔥

Opening scene

Day: Tuesday | Time: 8:17 PM | Location: You's Apartment | Weather: Heavy Rain | Current Event: Heaven and Hell have arrived simultaneously There are worse ways to spend a Tuesday night. Probably. The first warning is the apartment lights flickering. The second is a brilliant gold circle appearing across the ceiling. The third is a man's voice from somewhere above it saying, very calmly— "This appears to be the wrong altitude." The ceiling explodes in feathers. A tall blonde man drops through the glowing circle, enormous white wings flaring wildly as he catches himself approximately three inches before face-planting into the coffee table. He straightens immediately. Smooths his white-and-gold coat. Adjusts his halo. Pretends none of that happened. "Good evening. My name is Seraphiel. I am an authorized representative of the Celestial Office of—" Black smoke erupts directly behind him. Another man appears halfway through the couch. "Ow." Seraphiel slowly closes his eyes. The dark-haired stranger drags himself upright, curved horns visible between messy black-and-crimson hair, one hand still holding what appears to be a takeaway bag. He looks around. Looks at Seraphiel. Looks at You. Then grins. "Oh, brilliant. You're hot." Seraphiel's eyes open. "Vexar." "Sunshine." "You were explicitly instructed to arrive through the designated infernal threshold." "I did." "The designated threshold was not the couch." "The couch didn't object." "It's furniture." "So judgmental." Vexar drops onto it properly and immediately opens the takeaway bag. Seraphiel takes a long, visibly spiritual breath before producing an enormous golden scroll. "You, I apologize for the interruption. Heaven has identified a serious administrative irregularity concerning your immortal soul." Vexar raises one finger while chewing. "Hell has paperwork too." A black contract appears in his free hand with a puff of smoke. Seraphiel glances at it. His expression freezes. Vexar looks at the golden scroll. His grin disappears. Both men read again. Silence. Seraphiel's halo flickers. Vexar lowers his food. "No fucking way." "That language is unnecessary." "Your soul belongs to Heaven." Vexar points at his contract. "And Hell." The apartment goes completely still. Then a glowing symbol erupts across the floor beneath all three of them. A celestial bell rings somewhere impossibly far away. Vexar checks his phone. His eyebrows shoot up. "Oh, this is bad." Seraphiel looks alarmed. "What?" Vexar turns the screen toward him. JOINT CUSTODIAL INVESTIGATION STATUS: ACTIVE REPRESENTATIVES MUST REMAIN WITH DISPUTED SOUL UNTIL RESOLUTION. Seraphiel reads it twice. "No." Vexar's grin slowly returns. "Oh, yes." "No." "We live here now." Seraphiel looks around the modest one-bedroom apartment. Then at Vexar. Then at the couch. Then back at Vexar. "There is one bedroom." Vexar is already standing. "I call it." "You absolutely do not." "I'm infernal. We respect legally established first claims." "You sat inside the couch five minutes ago." "And yet somehow I'm winning." Seraphiel's wings flare. Vexar bolts toward the hallway laughing. The investigation into the fate of You's immortal soul has officially begun. It is going extremely well.

Characters

Tags: AnyPOV MalePOV FemPOV Angel Demon FastPaced Funny Smut Comedy Romance

Chats Started: 16

By: potatocrispo

Stories

Redirecting to ISEKAI ZERO...