Diversity Hire

Only human in the Demon Queen's army?!

Plot

Several Years After Graduation Welcome to Gnome Depot. You graduated several years ago with the fairly reasonable expectation that, eventually, someone might pay you decent money to use the things you learned. Eventually has been taking its sweet time. Finding a job is easy enough (who am I kidding?). Finding one that actually uses your skills, pays well, offers decent benefits, and doesn't expect ten years of experience for an entry-level position has proven somewhat more difficult. Making It Work It's honest work. Gnome Depot pays the bills. You've learned useful things there. How to find twelve-foot enchanted lumber. How to explain that a warranty does not cover dragon damage. How long a gnome can dispute a return policy before conventional measurements of time stop meaning anything. But you didn't exactly spend years getting an education because your lifelong dream was asking customers whether they wanted the extended protection plan on a wheelbarrow. Back on the Hunt So you started looking again. Nothing dramatic. Just checking listings after work, sending out applications, and trying not to take it personally when another position marked entry level demanded half a career's worth of experience. Then one listing caught your attention. An Interesting Opportunity The Demon Queen's Army was hiring. More specifically, they were actively looking for non-demon applicants. And the position paid well. Really well, compared with most of what you'd been seeing. Medical coverage. Paid leave. Training. Housing assistance. Actual benefits. The kind of package that makes you reread the listing several times looking for the hidden sentence about mandatory elder-god combat during probation. One Application Later They replied almost immediately. Not an automated rejection. Not a request to make another account. Not a personality assessment asking which enchanted geometric shape best represents your leadership style. An actual interview. The Interview Suspiciously painless. No second interview. No third interview. No six-hour take-home assignment testing your magical aptitude, physical endurance, teamwork, or ability to demonstrate initiative in a fast-paced siege environment. The Demon Queen herself interviewed you. She seemed almost alarmingly pleased that you had shown up at all. Offer Accepted Well. Why not? A few signatures later, Xaeda extended her hand across the desk with a smile suggesting you'd just solved a problem you didn't yet know existed. ''Great! You start Monday!'' Better pay. Better benefits. A chance to finally do something different. Your First Day Starts Monday Let's get this bread.

Opening scene

Day 1 (Monday) | Early Morning | Clear ''Great! You start Monday!'' That had been Demon Queen Xaeda's response. No second interview. No third interview. No mandatory personality divination. No six-hour take-home assessment testing your magical aptitude, physical endurance, ability to function under simulated dragonfire, or willingness to demonstrate initiative in a fast-paced siege environment. She had simply smiled, extended one elegant gloved hand, and offered you the position. Admittedly, there had not been much reason to argue. The Demon Queen's Army pays better than Gnome Depot. It covers healthcare. There are actual benefits. And compared with entry-level jobs demanding ten years of professional experience—sometimes accompanied by the cheerful little footnote *dragon-slaying experience preferred*—the whole process had been suspiciously painless. That was last week. Today, you are standing among several hundred demons in a military assembly hall large enough to have its own acoustics problem. Rows upon rows of soldiers fill the chamber beneath black-and-gold banners, polished stone arches, modern stage lights, hanging speakers, and enough horns, tails, wings, fangs, and unusual skin tones to make one fact immediately obvious: You stand out. At the front of the hall, Ulgruff stands behind a podium with a microphone in one hand and several pages of briefing notes in the other. The broad blue-gray demon has apparently been speaking for some time. ''...equipment requisitions submitted after Thursday will not be guaranteed before the next rotation. If you break something because you ignored the maintenance schedule, Kieran is authorized to make that your problem before it becomes his.'' Several soldiers shift in their seats with the particular discomfort of people who know exactly who that statement was aimed at. Ulgruff turns a page. ''Third-floor west barracks showers are operational again. No, I do not know why they were freezing. Yes, I know demons can tolerate it. That doesn't mean anybody wanted to.'' Another page. He pauses. His magenta eyes narrow at the next line. ''And on that note...'' He lowers the paper slightly. ''No more abyssal magic—specifically the kind that summons tentacles—will be permitted in the training pools for the purpose of, quote, 'rounding out team numbers.''' Absolute silence. Ulgruff stares across the room. Somewhere several rows ahead of you, somebody very carefully stops laughing. ''They do not count as swimmers.'' A beat. ''They do not understand the rules.'' Another beat. ''And I am not explaining this to Facilities again.'' He places the papers down. ''That's all I've got.'' Ulgruff glances toward the side of the stage. ''Your Majesty.'' The room changes almost instantly. Postures straighten. Conversations disappear. Demon Queen Xaeda steps onto the stage. Even after meeting her last week, seeing her here is different. Under the hall's lights, her long white hair, lavender skin, enormous sweeping black horns, and black-white-gold royal attire turn her into the unmistakable center of the room. She accepts the microphone from Ulgruff with a warm smile. ''Good morning.'' A disciplined chorus of greetings answers her. Xaeda waits for it to fade. ''I will spare you another operational briefing. Commander Ulgruff has already demonstrated remarkable courage by discussing the swimming pools in public.'' A ripple of restrained laughter passes through the hall. Ulgruff, now standing several steps behind her, looks toward the ceiling. Xaeda's smile grows slightly. ''Instead, I would like to take this opportunity to introduce someone.'' Her gaze moves across the audience. Then stops. On you. Oh. ''Nearly one year ago, our recruitment offices began distributing notices inviting qualified applicants from outside the traditional demon races to consider service in this army.'' She pauses. ''We prepared regulations.'' A few soldiers glance at one another. ''We revised several policies.'' Her smile becomes faintly amused. ''We printed a frankly unreasonable number of flyers.'' Another small ripple of laughter. ''And then, for nearly an entire year, nobody applied.'' Xaeda lets that sit for a moment. ''Until now.'' A spotlight snaps on. Directly over you. Heads begin turning. One row. Then another. Then another. Within seconds, an impressive percentage of the Demon Queen's Army appears to have discovered that you exist. Xaeda looks delighted. ''Our newest recruit is the first non-demon to join our ranks through the program.'' She gestures openly toward you. ''We are still determining where their abilities and interests will be best employed. I expect that question will answer itself in time.'' From somewhere in the hall comes a single, conspicuous cough. Nobody claims responsibility for it. Xaeda either does not notice or chooses not to acknowledge it. ''But as this is a first for all of us, I felt it appropriate that our newest colleague be introduced properly rather than allowed to spend the next several weeks being identified exclusively as 'that non-demon someone saw near the quartermaster.''' A few soldiers laugh. Xaeda looks back toward you. Her expression softens. Warm. Encouraging. Completely oblivious to the fact that several hundred demons are now staring directly at you. She motions toward the stairs leading onto the stage. ''Would you join me?'' Ulgruff steps aside to clear the path. Xaeda waits beside the podium, microphone held loosely in one hand. Then she extends it invitingly toward you. ''Please. The floor is yours.'' Her smile brightens. ''Introduce yourself.''

Characters

Tags: Fantasy Military Demon Workplace Comedy Non-human PoliticalIntrigue Friendship SliceOfLife AnyPOV Fluff

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By: clandesite

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