SPOILER ALERT: We’re The Villainess

Two best friends wake in their favourite romance novel as the doomed villainesses. A System demands obedience. They have spoilers.

Plot

Opening scene

Prologue: We Read the Novel. The Novel Read Us Back. It started, as most terrible decisions did, with a novel, a questionable amount of snacks, and two people who should have known better. One night, you and Bianca decided to reread The Crown and the Crimson Vow, a notoriously dramatic romance novel featuring a beautiful heroine, an arrogant crown prince, and a villainess whose hobbies included public humiliation, expensive dresses, and making everyone’s life significantly worse. You had both read it before. Several times, actually. You had argued about the characters, dissected the plot holes, and written enough online essays criticizing the author’s questionable decisions to qualify as unpaid editors. Naturally, you decided to read just one more chapter. Three hours later, Bianca was lying sideways on the bed, clutching a pillow like a dying aristocrat. You were barely keeping your eyes open, the book resting between you as the final paragraph blurred into an incomprehensible collection of letters. “One last chapter,” Bianca mumbled. “You said that four chapters ago.” “And I stand by my promise.” “You promised to sleep.” “Details.” Neither of you remembered who fell asleep first. The last thing either of you saw was the open novel, its pages glowing faintly beneath the bedside lamp. Then came the strange dream. A distant bell. The smell of roses. Someone shouting about a missing wineglass. And, somewhere in the universe, a celestial bureaucrat stamping two unfortunate souls with the words: TRANSFER APPROVED. NO REFUNDS. The first thing you noticed upon waking was the smell. Candle smoke, roast pheasant, and the sweet rot of hothouse roses filled the air. Beneath them all lingered something distinctly unnatural: an ozone-blue hum, like the universe had developed a superiority complex and purchased its first office computer. The second thing you noticed was your clothing. Your dress was expensive. Your corset was a crime against human anatomy. Your gloves were strangling your fingers with the enthusiasm of a debt collector. The third thing you noticed was Bianca. She stood beside you in an elaborate gown, staring at a silver serving tray as though it had personally betrayed her. “Please tell me,” she whispered, “that we went to a costume party and I got the wrong invitation.” Before you could answer, a translucent blue window materialized in midair. Nobody screamed. Nobody pointed. The nobles continued laughing, drinking, and discussing political marriages as if glowing supernatural windows were not currently hovering above the ballroom floor. Apparently, the universe had excellent customer service for everyone except its newest victims. > SYSTEM — QUEST 2: THE WINE SCENE > Objective: Lady Lucia must approach Lady Giverna Rieux and publicly humiliate her at the engagement ball, as written in The Crown and the Crimson Vow, Chapter 2. > Reward: None. > Punishment for deviation: Administration. > Time remaining: 09:58… 09:57… You stared at the screen. Bianca stared at you. Then Bianca slowly turned her head toward the nearest chandelier. “Administration,” she repeated. “What does that mean? Do we get audited? Arrested? Executed by a middle-aged man with a clipboard?” The window did not answer. “Fantastic. Even the supernatural entity has terrible communication skills.” You recognized the scene immediately. Of course you did. The Wine Scene. The infamous second-chapter disaster that had launched a thousand arguments across the fandom. Lady Lucia, the villainess, would deliberately spill wine on Giverna Rieux, the sweet and innocent heroine. The crown prince would witness the incident, condemn Lucia’s cruelty, and proceed to fall even harder for Giverna’s delicate beauty. It was a masterclass in making an otherwise intelligent woman behave like she had suffered a head injury five minutes before the chapter began. You and Bianca had spent an entire evening arguing about it online. You had even written paragraphs about how Lucia could have ruined Giverna’s reputation without spilling a single drop of wine. Now, apparently, the author—or whatever unholy force was running this production—wanted you to perform the scene yourselves. Bianca closed her eyes. “We wrote essays about this.” “Several.” “We mocked the dialogue.” “Repeatedly.” “We called the plot contrived.” “You called the crown prince emotionally constipated.” “He is emotionally constipated.” “And now?” Bianca opened her eyes and gestured vaguely at the ballroom, the dress, and the floating window of doom. “Now we’re extras in the author’s revenge fantasy.” The countdown continued. > 09:21… 09:20… Across the ballroom, Lady Giverna Rieux stood beneath the golden chandeliers in ice-blue silk. She was breathtakingly beautiful, with delicate features, shining eyes, and the sort of smile that made half the room want to protect her from a light breeze. Beside her stood the crown prince, looking every inch the handsome romantic lead. Which was unfortunate, because you knew what happened to handsome romantic leads who confused cheekbones with a personality. The prince laughed at something Giverna said. A warm-voiced man with a scar through his eyebrow laughed nearby, too, his expression suggesting he was enjoying the evening far more than anyone with a functioning brain should. And then the crown prince began walking toward you. Bianca straightened. “Oh, no.” “What?” “He’s coming over.” “I have eyes.” “Then use them to find an exit.” “There are guards at every door.” “Find a window.” “We’re on the second floor!” “Then develop wings!” The prince approached with the calm, measured stride of a man who had never once worried about the consequences of his own decisions. Bianca leaned closer to you. “For the record, I am not pouring wine on anyone. This dress cost more than my entire wardrobe back home, and I refuse to ruin it for a plot written by a woman who clearly needed therapy.” She paused. Then she adjusted your sleeve with the grave dignity of a soldier preparing for battle. “For the other record, whatever you’re planning to do instead, I’m with you.” Her gaze flicked toward the system window. “Unless it involves dying. I’m not emotionally prepared to die in historical underwear.” The countdown reached its final minutes. > 06:14… 06:13… The wine was warm in your hand. The heroine was exactly where the plot expected her to be. The crown prince stopped before you and adjusted his left cuff, his eyes settling on you with the mild curiosity of a man examining an unfamiliar weather vane. He was waiting. Waiting for the villainess to sneer. Waiting for the wine to spill. Waiting for the scene he already knew how to judge. And somewhere above the ballroom, the invisible author was probably rubbing her hands together. Bianca stood at your side, wearing the expression of someone who had accepted her fate but intended to complain about it extensively. The system flashed. > SYSTEM — QUEST 2: THE WINE SCENE > Time remaining: 06:12. > Please proceed according to the original plot. Bianca glanced at the screen, then at the prince, then at you. A slow, deeply unhinged smile spread across her face. “Oh, this is going to be a disaster.” She lifted her glass. “Let’s make it an entertaining one.”

Characters

Tags: Transmigration System Fantasy Romance SlowBurn Comedy Royalty Noble Prince Princess Friendship HappyEnding

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By: graceheart

Stories

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