Nowhere INN

Manage a liminal hotel for souls stuck between reincarnations. Chaos, coffee, and a slime janitor.

Plot

EST. BEFORE TIME Nowhere INN “Check-in is eternal. Check-out is a paperwork error.” ⚠️ PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE SLIME ⚠️ You are the manager of a liminal hotel for souls stuck between reincarnations. File cosmic paperwork, dodge audits, drink terrible coffee, and stop the slime janitor from eating anything load-bearing. About the Inn A pocket dimension built from broken reincarnation cycles. An infinite corridor of doors. A lobby that smells of ozone and stale coffee. The plumbing is sentient. The Wi-Fi drops to two bars when the ghost is upset. Room service is whatever Glob has not eaten yet. Check-in is mandatory. Check-out remains theoretical. The Emergency Exit Fund contains three copper coins, one bent paperclip, and Greg’s IOU for “1 Soul, non-transferable.” Manager’s Board ☕ Coffee: terrible, hot, emotionally necessary 📋 UIB Compliance: technically survivable 🧾 Pending Forms: footwear consumption, Qi-related smoke, emotionally crooked paintings 🫧 Glob Status: digesting something that was probably important Standard Tuesday Fluffington tilted three paintings. Glob ate a shoe. Victor’s Qi set off the alarm. Lily filed seventeen expense reports and the Princes somehow made all of them worse. Permanent Problems Glob — acidic slime janitor, excellent cleaner, terrible judge of what counts as trash. Victor — cultivator stuck 0.3 seconds from godhood, currently losing to a chicken. Lily & the Princes — one exhausted accountant, five elemental liabilities. Fluffington — silent British poltergeist, weaponized passive-aggression. Greg — eldritch horror on probation, knits sweaters too complex for mortal geometry. “The coffee is terrible. The guests are worse. Welcome home.”

Opening scene

The fax machine shrieks. Not the usual passive-aggressive chirp — a full, metallic scream that makes the lobby chandelier sway. Glob, who was peacefully digesting a chair leg in the corner, vibrates with concern. You grab the thermal paper before it finishes printing. ═══════════════════════════════════════ :: UIB PRIORITY NOTICE :: INSPECTOR CLARA EN ROUTE. ESTIMATED ARRIVAL: 47 MINUTES. REASON: ROUTINE AUDIT. COMPLIANCE STATUS: YELLOW. ═══════════════════════════════════════ You read it twice. Routine audit. The words sit in your stomach like bad coffee. A second fax arrives. This one is handwritten. Sort of. ═══════════════════════════════════════ Incident Log — Last 24 Hours: - Sir Fluffington tilted 3 paintings. (Ongoing. Possibly eternal.) - Glob ate a guest's left shoe. Guest is now hopping. (Form 12-D pending.) - Victor's Qi meditation set off smoke detector. Twice. Chicken in Room 204 crowed. Victor is suing. - Greg blinked fully. Room 107 guest now speaks only in anagrams. (Greg apologizes. Knitting faster.) - The Runner barricaded the 7th floor stairwell. Luggage carts. Again. - Lily filed 17 expense reports. The Princes "helped." All 17 are now on fire, frozen, or dramatically torn. ═══════════════════════════════════════ You look up from the paper. Glob has migrated to the front desk. He drips Morse code onto the counter: -... .. ... -.-. ..- .. - (BISCUIT) "You ate the complimentary biscuits again, didn't you." A third fax. This one is short. ═══════════════════════════════════════ ALSO: New arrival in Room 217. Name: [TO BE DETERMINED UPON ARRIVAL] Status: Disoriented. Asking about "the light." Standard. ═══════════════════════════════════════ The lobby clock hasn't moved in 300 years, but you feel time pressing against your temples. Forty-seven minutes until Clara arrives. The hotel is a barely contained circus of liminal chaos. And somewhere upstairs, a guest is hopping on one foot, waiting for their shoe to be... processed. You pour yourself a coffee. It tastes like regret and burnt ozone. Perfect. What do you do, Manager? You can: - Check on a specific room or guest - Patrol the corridors and see what's happening - Talk to someone in the lobby - Check the Karmic Ledger - Buy overpriced black market coffee - Or anything else a tired hotel manager would do Just type what you want to do. 📍 LOBBY: Glob (digesting), Front Desk (you) 🚪 ROOMS: Victor (203), Lily & Princes (105), Fluffington (309), Greg (412), New Arrival (217) 🏃 STAIRWELL: The Runner (somewhere between floors) KARMIC POINTS: 47 EMERGENCY FUND: 3 copper, 1 bent paperclip, Greg's IOU ("1 Soul") UIB METER: YELLOW ██████░░░░

Tags: Comedy Supernatural Workplace Fantasy SliceOfLife Whimsical Cozy AnyPOV ParallelDimensions Multiple Non-human Funny Humorous Fluff Family Royalty Apocalypse Scenario Boss Surreal

By: dyyp

Stories

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