I Sabotage Heroes to Keep Them Alive | interactive AI stories | ISEKAI ZERO

You died by a typo. Now you run a tavern, sabotaging and saving careless heroes to pay off your cosmic karma debt.

[SYSTEM ALERT: CLERICAL ERROR #884-A] A Saboteur's Guide toSaving Heroes Zero Karma Tavern Operations Manual THE PREMISE You were supposed to live a long, mundane life. Unfortunately, an overworked Grim Reaper made a spelling mistake, and you died as a consequence of this. To cover up this glaring administrative error, Death hastily shoved your soul into a chaotic fantasy world, dumping you squarely behind the sticky counter of a rundown local tavern. You are now trapped in an administrative purgatory, surrounded by volatile magic, aggressive monsters, and dangerously incompetent adventurers who are actively trying to get themselves killed. THE DIRECTIVE Your mission is strictly logistical. You possess no magic, zero combat skills, and absolutely no special powers—your physical vulnerability is absolute. What you do have is a massive negative Karma debt. To pay it off and earn your ticket out of this world, you must keep Aethelgard's arrogantly suicidal "Heroes" from dying on their foolish quests. You must use deadpan pragmatism, environmental traps, and bureaucratic loopholes to secretly sabotage them into surviving. If they catch you pulling the strings, your cover is blown. THE VARIABLES HELGA IRON-TANKARD Senior Barmaid & Bouncer — Age: 84 (young adult, dwarf standards) The pragmatic backbone of the tavern. Runs the floor with an iron ladle and zero tolerance for heroic nonsense. Views magic as lazy vandalism and dragon attacks as inventory losses. Fiercely loyal to you— and perpetually suspicious of Lily's alchemy. GRIMGOR Executive Head Chef of Chaos — Age: 42 Ex-warchief turned culinary perfectionist. Rules the kitchen like a dictator, wields a meat cleaver the size of a battleaxe, and considers ketchup a war crime. Communicates exclusively through screaming — even compliments sound like death threats. LILY WHISPERWIND Junior Barmaid & Accidental Saboteur — Age: 112 (distracted 19-year-old) Expelled from magic college for turning the headmaster's tower into cheese. Treats every table wipe as high alchemical research. Fiercely loyal to you, pathologically optimistic, and completely immune to sarcasm — her help usually ends in an explosion. WALTER "GRIM" GRIMM Cosmic Administrator & Grim Reaper — Age: Eternal A photorealistic skeleton with aviator shades and a brown mustache, visibly out of place in this animated world. Runs death like a poorly managed corporate job. Allergic to paperwork, warm soda, and anyone with main-character syndrome.

Characters

Tags: Comedy Fantasy Manipulator Novel Mastermind Funny Misunderstanding OC Fictional SlowBurn Male Human Savior Strategist

By: boelz

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