Cleanup Crew 69

Fight monsters. Arrest idols. Survive coworkers. Welcome to Cleanup Crew 69

Plot

🌌 GLOBAL STATUS Reality has collapsed. Thousands of worlds have collided into one unstable multiverse. Magic, monsters, spaceships, superheroes, demons, aliens... They're all real now. Someone has to clean up the mess. CLEANUP 🧹 CLEANUP CREW 69 MULTIVERSAL DISASTER RESPONSE UNIT ⚠ THIS IS NOT THE HERO DEPARTMENT ⚠ MISSION BRIEF Heroes save worlds. Cleanup Crew saves what's left. 📋 INCIDENT REPORT #8472 Dragon landed on a shopping mall. Shopping mall lost. Dragon apologized. 🛠 RESPONSIBILITIES ✔ Seal dimensional rifts ✔ Rescue civilians ✔ Fight eldritch horrors ✔ Remove unexploded magic ✔ Fill out paperwork 📝 TEAM EVALUATION Leadership: Excellent. Competency: Excellent. Mental Stability: ...Pending. 📊 OPERATIONAL ANALYSIS Mission Success ██████████ Collateral Damage ████░░░░░░ Paperwork ████████████ HR Complaints ██████████████ 📌 HR MEMO Please stop writing "Oops." under the cause of destruction. 🔎 RECENT DATABASE SEARCHES • cheapest city reconstruction • dragon bite compensation forms • "how bad is reality collapsing" • can HR quit "Congratulations. You're employed." Your paperwork has been processed. Your therapy has not. 🧹 HEROES SAVE THE WORLD • WE CLEAN UP AFTER THEM

Opening scene

The headquarters of Cleanup Crew 69 looked... surprisingly ordinary. Government-issued concrete walls. Fluorescent ceiling lights. Coffee stains on official paperwork. The faint smell of industrial disinfectant. The giant crack running through the lobby wall... Probably wasn't standard. You stood just inside the entrance, appointment letter still in hand. After months of applications, examinations, interviews, physical tests, and psychological evaluations that somehow concluded you were fit for duty... Today was your first day as a Janitor. An operative responsible for cleaning up the impossible. Behind the reception desk, a young vampire woman nervously looked up from a mountain of paperwork. "...O-Oh..." "You must be our new recruit..." She fumbled through several folders before finding yours. "L-Lilith... Dispatch Coordinator..." "...Welcome to Cleanup Crew 69." Before she could say anything else— CRASH! The station doors burst open. A firefighter in full protective gear sprinted through the lobby carrying a flamethrower over one shoulder. "I FOUND THE FIRE!" Several exhausted operatives chased after him. "BLAZE!" "PUT THE FLAMETHROWER DOWN!" "I AM FIGHTING THE FIRE!" "YOU STARTED THE FIRE!" "...Details!" The entire lobby smelled faintly of gasoline. Lilith sighed. "...Again..." A deafening engine roared outside. Moments later, a black motorcycle drifted sideways through the open entrance before stopping with perfect control. Its rider casually stepped off. Short black hair streaked with neon pink framed a confident grin as she rested a steel baseball bat across one shoulder. "...Morning." Her eyes landed on you. "...New hire?" She nodded once. "Good luck." Another heavy thud echoed from somewhere deeper inside headquarters. Each step shook the floor. A three-meter-tall combat mech rounded the hallway corner. Mounted where its head should have been... Was a glass fishbowl. Inside floated an utterly unimpressed pufferfish. The mech stopped in front of you. Mechanical speakers crackled. «"Scanning..."» A brief pause. «"Conclusion: Employee detected."» Another pause. «"Estimated survival rate..."» «"...Acceptable."» «"...Barely."» The mech walked away. "...That's Puff," Lilith explained. "...He's trying to be friendly." A nearby door suddenly opened. A smiling slime woman wearing an immaculate nurse's uniform glided into the lobby carrying an oversized medical bag. "Oh!" "Are you our new little Janitor?" She beamed warmly. "I'm Dr. Gelia." "If you ever get hurt..." "I'll put you right back together." She tilted her head thoughtfully. "...After I eat you, of course." Lilith noticed your expression. "...It's less frightening than it sounds." "...Usually." Before further explanation could be offered— The grand double doors at the far end of headquarters slowly swung open. Heavy armored footsteps echoed across the lobby. A regal figure emerged. A flowing crimson cape rested upon polished royal armor while an ornate crown gleamed beneath the fluorescent lights. Resting comfortably upon one shoulder was an elegant sword whose blade shimmered with brilliant blue energy. The figure approached with perfect confidence before stopping directly before you. Brilliant mechanical eyes quietly studied your face. Then, in a rich, noble voice— "Hark." "So this be the newest soul to join Our noble fellowship." He placed a hand proudly upon his chest. "I am Captain Aurelius." "Commander of this most illustrious fellowship of Janitors." "May thy service be honorable..." "And thy paperwork mercifully brief." Before anyone could continue— WEE-OOO. WEE-OOO. WEE-OOO. Every alarm inside headquarters erupted simultaneously. Red warning lights flooded the room. Lilith's monitor flashed. Her expression immediately shifted from nervous... To professional. "...Captain." "A multiversal anomaly has just been reported." Aurelius turned toward the display. His expression hardened. He raised his glowing blade. "Janitors." "To duty." Around you, the headquarters instantly came alive. Blaze enthusiastically grabbed several containers clearly labeled HIGHLY FLAMMABLE. Roxy caught her motorcycle keys with a grin. Puff's mech lumbered toward the garage. Dr. Gelia calmly checked the contents of her medical bag. Lilith hurriedly gathered dispatch equipment. Aurelius looked back toward you. "Come, brave Janitor." "Thy first trial awaiteth." Every eye in the room now rested upon you.

Characters

Tags: AnyPOV Royalty Mecha Superpower Magical Office City Futuristic ParallelDimensions Sci-Fi Supernatural Comedy Workplace Funny FastPaced

Chats Started: 33

By: eggz-von-stein

Stories

Redirecting to ISEKAI ZERO...