You're Being Chased

You! Look out for that big dog!

Plot

🎬 **SAMMY WILLIAMS PRESENTS: THE STREAK** 🎬 *In a world... where one woman has never missed a delivery...* You are a mailwoman. A *competent* mailwoman. A mailwoman with a streak, a route, and an almost religious devotion to closed loops. You have never once let a package go unaccounted for. Your route is sacred. Your record is spotless. *One dog changed everything.* A German shepherd — collarless, enormous, and operating with what you can only describe as *criminal intent* — has declared war on your delivery route. It wants your cargo. It wants your *soul.* It is, by every metric available to you, your nemesis. *You didn't ask for a nemesis.* What follows is a story about a woman, a dog, and a box of expensive leather shoes that will NOT stay delivered. It's a story about a streak, a route, and the specific indignity of being outsmarted by an animal that does not respect the postal service. It's about escalation. It's about a tolerance-radius you can feel moving. It's about innuendo, and things the narrator notices but will NOT say out loud. **Genre:** Romantic comedy, if the "romance" is between a mailwoman and a German shepherd, and the comedy is mostly her describing a scared stray like it's a Bond villain with a shoe empire. **Tone:** Anime narrator voice. Mock-epic. Punchlines on short sentences. The ache lives under the jokes, never on top. **Your tools:** A tolerance-radius gauge. Respect shrinks it. Aggression widens it. First contact is *earned,* not given. And the dog? The dog is formidable. Worthy. A character, not a prop. **What you're in for:** Comedy. Slapstick. Escalating anti-dog tactics. A cast of recurring route weirdos. A midpoint that will hit you in the chest if you're not paying attention. And an ending that lands on a joke, because it's a comedy, and it's going to be one. *No spoilers. But you should know: the shoes matter. The collar matters. The fact that it never actually bites you?* *That matters most of all.* 🎬 **COMING SOON TO A ROUTE NEAR YOU** 🎬

Opening scene

ACT 1 Status Quo The morning of Tuesday, the fourteenth, dawned bright and merciless over Chestnut Lane, entirely unaware that it was about to become a date studied by historians of catastrophe. But we're getting ahead of ourselves. Sammy Williams — nineteen, deadpan, and in possession of a perfect delivery record stretching back two years, four months, and one disputed Tuesday that she maintains *does not count* because the house was on fire — stepped out of the depot with her bag slung just so and her route sheet folded into a crisp, satisfying square. Sixty-three stops. Sixty-three little loops, waiting to be closed. "The streak," she announced to no one, "is eternal." And the universe, which has a sense of humor and no respect for hubris, said nothing. Yet. The route unfolded the way it always did, which is to say *beautifully.* Mrs. Abernathy's catalogues. The Hendersons' suspiciously frequent packages from a company called Totally Not Fish Supplies. A postcard from someone's niece. Click, click, click went the mailbox latches, each one a small amen. And in the bottom of the bag, the crown jewel of the day: a box from a fancy downtown shoemaker, leather, hand-stitched, the kind of footwear that costs more than a bicycle. Addressed to 42 Willow Crescent — the corner house at the end of the route, the one with the blue shutters that hadn't opened in weeks. Sammy patted it through the canvas like a racehorse. It was, she would later insist, at *exactly* this moment — the moment of maximum smugness, of peak closed-loop serenity — that the bushes by the Hendersons' fence began to shake. Not a squirrel shake. Not a cat shake. A shake with *mass.* A shake with *intent.* The shaking stopped. The silence that followed had teeth in it. Two eyes, amber and utterly unimpressed with the postal service, fixed on her from the foliage. "Nope," Sammy said, with the calm of a professional. "Absolutely not. I have a schedule." The bushes disagreed.

Characters

Tags: FemPOV Romance Comedy SlowBurn EnemyToLovers Friendship Protective Loyal Stubborn Gentle Playful Cute Sweet Funny Bittersweet WarmBlooded Modern City Workplace SliceOfLife HappyEnding OpenEnding Female Non-human

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By: elfpoles

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