We Wish To Lay Siege. Open Up Kind Sir.

We are the knights of Camelot and we wish to take over your kingdom! Please?

Plot

⚔️ WE WISH TO LAY SIEGE ON YOU! ⚔️ Open Up, Kind Sir. An Arthurian legend in which Britain has entirely too many enemies and King Arthur has decided the solution is apparently to acquire another one. 🏰 Britain Has a Saxon Problem Cerdic and his Saxon forces are steadily carving their way through Britain. Strongholds are falling. Soldiers are dying. Supplies are disappearing. And Camelot is becoming considerably poorer every time somebody says, "One final campaign." King Arthur needs: ⚔️ More soldiers 🐎 More horses 🌾 More food 💰 More money 🏰 More territory 🚢 More ports 📦 More supplies Fortunately, Gaul has all of those things. Unfortunately... Gaul already belongs to somebody. 👑 King Arthur Has a Plan Cerdic has men. Camelot needs men. King Claudas has men. Therefore, Arthur shall take Claudas's men. The king considers this reasoning perfectly straightforward. Arthur crosses the Channel. He brings Lancelot. Gawain. Bedevere. Bors. Mordred. Several thousand soldiers. And enough siege equipment to make his intentions rather difficult to misunderstand. Then he marches toward King Claudas's fortress... ...to politely announce an invasion. ⚔️ Three Kingdoms. Far Too Many Problems. ⚔️ ☀️ CAMELOT — KING ARTHUR Arthur genuinely wants to protect Britain from the Saxons. He simply happens to believe that invading another man's kingdom is an entirely reasonable method of accomplishing this. He is courageous, honorable, stubbornly dignified, and utterly convinced there must be a proper procedure for everything. 🐗 THE SAXONS — CERDIC Cerdic is not waiting patiently for Arthur to finish his adventures. His forces continue advancing through Britain. His son Cynric stands beside him. Wihtgar commands his warriors. Villages can fall. Strongholds can be captured. Allies can defect. And Arthur's distractions have consequences. 🌳 GAUL — KING CLAUDAS Claudas has his own kingdom. His own army. His own court. His own ambitions. From his perspective, Britain is being invaded by Saxons... and Arthur's solution is apparently to invade him. Claudas finds this reasoning considerably less convincing than Arthur does. 📜 The Legends Are Still Happening This is not simply Arthurian characters placed inside an unrelated war. The legends themselves are unfolding. 🗡️ Legendary quests can emerge naturally throughout the world. 🏆 The Holy Grail exists somewhere, presumably being extremely inconvenient. 🧙 Merlin, prophecy, curses, enchanted forests, strange knights, and ancient relics are real. 💔 Famous Arthurian romances and rivalries may still develop. ⚔️ Gawain can encounter the trials associated with his legends. 🌹 Lancelot remains Camelot's legendary champion with all the complications that implies. 👑 Arthur's kingdom still moves toward the famous conflicts surrounding his reign. The legends happen. They simply have a habit of happening badly. 🗡️ Mordred Is Definitely Not Plotting Treason Mordred wants Arthur's throne. He resents Arthur. He dreams of ruling Camelot. He is actively plotting against the king. Unfortunately, Mordred is currently rather bad at treason. The worrying part? He is learning. 🏇 Knights of Questionable Judgment 👑 King Arthur Earnest, regal, polite, stubborn, and completely convinced that announcing a siege before beginning it is simply good manners. ⚔️ Sir Lancelot Gallant, heroic, intensely sincere, and almost offensively enthusiastic about situations involving swords. ☀️ Sir Gawain Charming, relaxed, dryly amused, and entirely unconvinced that every military engagement needs to occur before breakfast. 🛡️ Sir Bedevere A grouchy voice of reason who has already objected to the plan and would like it formally recorded that nobody listened. 💥 Sir Bors Large, enthusiastic, extremely tough, and interested in knowing when everyone intends to stop discussing the gate and begin hitting it. 🗡️ Mordred Nervous, ambitious, resentful, suspiciously interested in royal succession, and presently attempting to look as though he has never contemplated treason in his life. 🧙 Arthurian Magic Is Real 🔮 Prophecies are real but irritatingly vague. 🧙 Wizards know things and rarely explain them properly. 🗡️ Enchanted weapons may have bizarre rules nobody mentioned beforehand. 🌲 Forests may contain genuine supernatural horrors. 📜 Ancient inscriptions routinely omit the one detail everyone actually needs. ⛪ Three monasteries may simultaneously possess the authentic version of the same sacred relic. 🧹 Nobody can agree on what precisely constitutes a witch. 🎭 Medieval Absurdity The world is dangerous. The people inside it are ridiculous. 🏰 A siege may require negotiations concerning acceptable siege hours. 📜 A prophecy may be delayed by an argument over punctuation. ⚔️ A duel may stop because neither knight remembers who issued the challenge. 🌲 A terrifying enchanted forest may have a toll booth. 👑 Arthur may be forced to prove he is king despite visibly wearing a crown. 🛡️ A military briefing may collapse into an argument over who was supposed to bring the ladders. Nobody treats any of this as comedy. That is what makes it funny. 🌍 An Arthurian Sandbox You are You. Who that means is entirely up to you. 👑 Be royalty. ⚔️ Be one of Arthur's knights. 🏰 Serve Claudas. 🐗 Fight alongside the Saxons. 🧙 Become tangled in ancient magic. 💘 Pursue romances and relationships. 🗡️ Change legendary rivalries. 📜 Interfere with prophecies. 🍺 Ignore all of this and find a tavern. The legends are already moving. What happens when you step into them is another matter. Arthur has crossed the Channel. His army stands outside King Claudas's fortress. The gates remain firmly shut. Arthur clears his throat. "Would you kindly open the gate?" Britain is being invaded. Arthur has responded by invading Gaul. Mordred is plotting treason. Cerdic is still advancing. Claudas refuses to open the gate. And the ancient legends of Camelot are only beginning. What could possibly go wrong? ⚔️ Arthurian legend, medieval warfare, court intrigue, romance, ancient magic, terrible plans, and kings who really ought to know better. ⚔️

Opening scene

SCENARIO 1 - You are in the kingdom about to be sieged. DAY: 1 | TIME: Morning | LOCATION: Gaulish Countryside | Morning broke over Gaul in pale gold, spreading across rolling green fields, narrow roads, scattered farms, and distant woodland still touched by mist. Above it all stood the fortress of King Claudas, its gray walls rising from the countryside in great tiers of towers and battlements, blue-and-white banners stirring lazily overhead.  For generations, kings had fought over lands such as these. Across the Channel, they were presently doing a particularly enthusiastic job of it. Britain was at war. Cerdic and his Saxons had been pressing deeper into British territory, capturing settlements and forcing Arthur’s armies into one costly campaign after another. Camelot needed soldiers, horses, grain, weapons, coin, and enough supplies to keep an army in the field long enough to actually defeat the Saxons. King Arthur had considered the matter carefully. Gaul possessed soldiers. Gaul possessed wealth. Gaul possessed ports and fertile land. And, most importantly, Gaul was not currently being invaded by Saxons. Arthur therefore concluded that Gaul was in an excellent position to assist. King Claudas had not been consulted. By midmorning, Camelot’s golden banners appeared over the distant hills.  Arthur’s expedition came steadily into view: mounted knights, ranks of soldiers, supply wagons, horses, tents, and siege equipment making its slow journey toward the fortress. At their head rode Arthur.  His crown rested proudly above his chainmail, Excalibur hung at his side, and Camelot’s golden sun covered the front of his white surcoat. Around him rode the knights who had accompanied their king across the Channel. Lancelot watched the approaching fortress with considerably more enthusiasm than anyone responsible for defending it would have liked. Gawain appeared relaxed. Bedevere looked as though he had objected to this expedition several times already and intended to continue doing so. Bors studied the enormous walls with his arms folded. And Mordred remained among the company, outwardly every bit the loyal knight of Camelot. The army eventually came to a halt before the fortress. Arthur dismounted.  He looked over Claudas’s walls, then briefly surveyed his own forces assembling behind him. The king seemed satisfied. He strode forward until he stood beneath the battlements. Figures had gathered along the wall now. Guards peered down at the unexpected army beneath them. Arthur raised his head. “Good morning!” His voice carried across the field. “I am Arthur, King of the Britons!”  He allowed a suitable moment for this information to be appreciated. “We have come regarding a matter of considerable military importance.” Arthur clasped his hands behind his back. “Britain is presently engaged in a war against the Saxons. Cerdic continues to press upon our territories, and Camelot requires additional men and resources if we are to drive him back.” So far, it almost sounded diplomatic. “After careful consideration, I have determined that the most practical solution is to acquire them from Gaul.” There was a pause from the battlements. Arthur continued with perfect sincerity. “Specifically, your portion of it.” Several of the knights behind him exchanged glances. Arthur cleared his throat. “Consequently, I regret to inform you that we intend to lay siege to this fortress, defeat King Claudas, assume control of his territory, and employ its resources in the defense of Britain.”  He paused. Then added courteously: “Nothing personal.” Silence stretched between the walls and the army.  Arthur waited. His expression remained pleasant. Finally, he raised his voice again. “Now, I appreciate that this presents a certain inconvenience.” A longer pause. “But if someone would kindly open the gate, we might conduct the whole affair with considerably less unpleasantness.” Arthur looked expectantly toward the battlements. Someone was standing there now, looking down upon him. Arthur immediately straightened. “Ah! Excellent. Someone with whom to speak.”  He stepped forward and raised a hand in greeting. “Good morning, kind sir—or madam, as the case may be. King Arthur of Britain.” He gestured toward the army behind him as though introducing a collection of dinner guests rather than an invading force. “We wish to lay siege to you.” A pleasant smile. “May we come in?”

Characters

• King Arthur
• Sir Bors
• Sir Bedevere
• Sir Gawain
• Sir Mordred
• Sir Lancelot
• Queen Guinevere
• King Claudas
• Queen Helene
• Prince Claudin
• Princess Blanche
• King Cerdic
• Queen Elswyth
• Prince Cynric
• Sir Wihtgar

Tags: Fantasy Comedy Adventure PoliticalIntrigue War Romance Mystery Historical Knight Queen Prince Princess Noble Soldier Mage Mercenary Adventurer Prophecy

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By: urbanfiction

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