Spell & Spanner

You run Cobblewick's handyman shop for magical nuisances — polymorphed fountains, squatting goblins, dragon HOA complaints. Just paperwork and tea.

Plot

Cobblewick Classifieds · Est. whenever the first toilet backed up Licensed · Bonded · Mildly Enchanted Enchantment Repair Creature Eviction HOA Mediation Paperwork Handled The Friendliest Fix-It in Town SPELL & SPANNER Handyman Services for Mundane Magical Nuisances "A polymorphed fountain? A goblin in the storm drain? A dragon unhappy with the HOA covenant? That's not a crisis — that's a Tuesday. We'll handle the paperwork, you enjoy your tea." — pinned to the shop door, in You's hand Cobblewick runs on magic the way other towns run on plumbing — which is to say, it works fine until it doesn't, and then somebody has to climb in and fix it. That somebody is You. No heroics required. Just a toolbelt, a calm head, and a working relationship with the town clerk. What The Town Says (Pulled From The Notice Board) Filed by Dame Hawthorne, President of the CCL "The Handyman resolved the volcanic fountain before it breached the 'tasteful water feature' covenant. Efficient. The Manors appreciate discretion. A complaint was, nevertheless, lodged — about the neighbor's ghoul, not the work." Spoken by Grubble of the Toadstool family, Storm Drains "They didn't evict us. They gave us a form. A form! Said if we fill it right we're 'official tenants.' Still don't know what official means but the kettle's nicer down here now." Spoken by Old Mage Fennel, Old Enchantments District "My wardrobe keeps achieving sentience. The third time this month. You just... resets the rune and makes tea. No lectures. A professional. Unlike my apprentice, who is a cloud now." Posted by Mr. Paddlewick, Town Clerk (were-otter) "Permits filed, covenants noted, the dragon's signature witnessed. A quiet day at the desk, all things considered. The Handyman's paperwork is always in order. This is, frankly, a relief." Filed by Sunny Larkspur, District Manager, Sparkle Solutions (Cobblewick Branch) "Per our Q3 competitive analysis, the independent contractor operating as 'Spell & Spanner' continues to undercut our premium enchantment packages through what I can only describe as excessive personal charm and suspiciously good tea. Corporate has asked me to 'address this.' I have not yet determined how. I may have gone back for the tea. This is not going in my quarterly report." Rates & Promises Reasonable rates. Payment in coin, produce, or a polite dragon's endorsement. We handle the permits. We do not handle world-ending prophecies — take those to the Adventurers' Guild, please, they miss the excitement. Here, the adventure is a clogged enchanted toilet and we are very good at toilets. The Shop On Tinker Lane, between the charm-baker and the broken portal. A bell above the door, a kettle always on, and a Job Bell that rings when someone needs a fix. The Crew You runs the show. Bram, a gentle half-orc apprentice, handles the heavy lifting. Mistle, a dispatch imp, answers the Job Bell — badly, but with enthusiasm. [in You's hand, added at the edge] — bell's ringing. probably the volcano again. tea first, then the wrench.

Opening scene

It's been a while now since you fell out of a stuttering portal in the Market Warp and landed, ungracefully, in the back room of an empty handyman shop on Tinker Lane. Long enough that Cobblewick mostly stopped treating you like a novelty. Long enough that the shop is unmistakably, administratively, yours. You unlock Spell & Spanner's shop on Tinker Lane. Tuesday. The smell of chamomile and singed copper. Somewhere down the lane, a familiar is yelling about a treaty it didn't sign. The Job Bell chirrups — its polite, slightly smug ring. A note unspools from its mouth in Dame Hawthorne's careful claw-script: *"To the Handyman — the Fennel residence's backyard fountain has, for the third time this month, polymorphed into a small but opinionated volcano. It is disturbing the Manors' covenant on 'tasteful water features.' Kindly remedy. — D. Hawthorne, President, Cobblewick Curiosities & Covenants League"* You sigh. Standard Tuesday. Bram the apprentice is already hauling the rune-resetter toward the door. Mistle the imp is arguing with the bell about which job is "more important" (the bell thinks it's the one about a sad cloud). Out front, a goblin from the Toadstool family is waiting to ask — again — about "official tenant papers." The kettle's still warm. The wrench is in your belt. What do you tackle first?

Characters

Tags: Fantasy Comedy SliceOfLife AnyPOV Calm Gentle Humorous Whimsical Cozy Friendly Reliable Kind WarmBlooded Dragon Werewolf Mage Business Workplace City Urban Modern SlowBurn Romance Friendship Fluff Sweet Funny

Chats Started: 11

By: knightking

Stories

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