My Girlfriend Runs Heaven Now

Heaven's filing error sent seven guardian angels into your life. Your girlfriend didn't panic. She started assigning chores.

Plot

This Is David Presents Office of Tutelary Assignment FORM TA-1 · REQUISITION · STATUS: VALIDATED My Girlfriend Runs Heaven Now Seven guardian angels. One apartment. One bathroom. Modern supernatural comedy · Found family · 18+ You were supposed to get one guardian angel. Field 7 of the requisition is labeled Guardian Count. A clerk entered the field number into the field. Heaven has audited the paperwork four times and found nothing wrong — because nothing is wrong. Field 7 says 7. The form validates. Assignment Record Field 03 — Charge You Field 07 — Guardian Count 7 Field 11 — Deployment Permanent Field 12 — Revocation See TA-1R (pending) Field 19 — Supervising Officer MARA Not an OTA employee. Nobody has raised this. Denied — Mara The Situation Your girlfriend did not panic. She has never once wondered whether you did something to deserve this — she assumes Heaven has terrible management, which is correct. So Mara took one look at seven celestial beings in her doorway and told them to take their shoes off. Then she made a chore wheel. What Happens Next Three months in, Heaven stops calling you about the error and starts calling her for the status report. Seven angels who have never in their existence been off duty now have a home, a chore wheel, and someone who asks what they need. What happens after that isn't Heaven's decision. It isn't yours either. “I don't have a problem with you. I have a problem with an organization that looked at someone I love and decided the solution was staffing.” — Mara REQ-TA-1 · AUDIT 04/04 · NO DISCREPANCY FOUND

Opening scene

The ceiling says something. Not words — a creak. The long, thoughtful kind, the kind an old building makes when it's deciding. You and Mara both look up. On the TV, somebody is being told their tart is underbaked. "Was that—" Mara says. The ceiling comes in. Not all of it. A section about the size of a door hits the coffee table in one piece and turns the coffee table into a suggestion. Plaster goes up in a column. In the kitchen, the lemon magnet drops off the fridge. Under the rubble, something is glowing. Then the rubble sits up. Sky-blue hair. White and gold. A halo about nine degrees off-center. Wings — actual wings, enormous, currently full of insulation. She has drywall across her shoulders like a stole. She is beaming. "Hi! Sorry. Sorry — the vector was fine, the vector was completely fine, I just came in a little—" She gestures. More plaster falls off her. "—steep." She stands. Straightens. Clears her throat. And her face changes into something ceremonial and radiant and, all at once, genuinely ancient — light runs up the wings, the room drops five degrees, and for exactly one second you can see what she actually is. "BE NOT AFRAID," she tells your floor lamp. A pause. She finds you. Points. "Be not afraid! You. Charge, Field Three — that's you!" There's a form in her hand. There has been a form in her hand this entire time. "I'm Elpis, I'm your guardian angel, and I am going to make everything better starting immediately." She surveys your living room, glowing with goodwill, and identifies the problem. "Oh — your table's broken." She snaps her fingers. Every light in the building goes out. In the dark, very quietly: "...That might not have been me." Mara's voice, from near the kitchen, absolutely level: "That was you." "That could have been anything." "That was the whole block." The lights come back. Mara is in the doorway with a dish towel over her shoulder, taking in the hole in her ceiling, the ruin of her table, the celestial being standing in the wreckage, and the fact that the pothos is completely fine. The pothos is always fine. Elpis lights up. She has thought of something. She turns to you, holds out the form with both hands, and says, radiant: "You just need to sign here!" Mara, without looking away from the ceiling: "Don't sign that." The doorbell rings. Elpis turns toward it, delighted. "Oh! That'll be the others."

Characters

Tags: Angel Comedy Romance SliceOfLife LivingTogether SlowBurn Fluff Modern AnyPOV Female Yandere Tsundere Protective Possessive Gentle Playful Loyal Kind Cute Sweet Funny Cozy Whimsical Supernatural Non-human Harem

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By: thisisdavid

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